2014 in Review: Life in General

This is the sixth and final installment in a series of blog posts reviewing 2014. Previous entries discussed books, food, movies, music, and television.

2015 is well under way and I’ve yet to write a darn thing about it. That means either life is busy and productive, or I’ve spent the last six weeks in a depressive, near-comatose state. I’ll leave you in suspense as to which is correct. For now, it’s time to talk about the bigger highlights of 2014.

Early in 2014, Edison stopped attending Florida Virtual School and enrolled in an honest-to-goodness brick-and-mortar school. It would be incorrect to say he went from being homeschooled to attending public school. Virtual school is not the same thing as homeschooling, and virtual school is considered public school. Still, if the technically erroneous description makes it easier for you to wrap your mind around what happened, have at it. Eddie’s first day of brick-and-mortar school was scheduled for January 29th, but it ended up getting delayed one full day because of snow! In Tallahassee! An extreme rarity, just like my son. How fitting. Melanie and I weren’t sure what to expect of Edison’s first foray into brick-and-mortar school, but he adapted like it was nothing. In fact, he was immensely happier, at least for the first little while. Having Eddie attend school has been a very positive change in our lives, for reasons that will become clearer later in this blog post.

Another big event was my applying for a job at Dixie State University in St. George, Utah. I didn’t get the job, so maybe it seems pointless to mention it. However, it was my first (and thus far only) job interview for a college-level teaching position. I got a Skype interview, which suggests my curriculum vitae was at least moderately appealing. Thinking about living in Southern Utah got me rather excited, and for a while I couldn’t imagine not getting the job. I really had my hopes up for it. I felt very confident about my interview before it actually happened. But, once the interview actually started … well, let’s just say I could feel the hope bleeding out of me as the panel of interviewers watched me babble into near incoherency. I ended the Skype call knowing my prospects of working at DSU were now a thing of the past. I thought that maybe, if I got incredibly lucky, they wouldn’t throw me completely out, because of my C.V. I thought maybe just maybe, if they were merciful enough, I’d have another shot at an interview of some kind. Alas, it didn’t happen. Am I sad? I’m really not, for reasons that will become clearer later in this blog post.

Obviously, the biggest change in my life during 2014 was moving back to Utah. It was a tough decision, but the only plausible decision I could make. I couldn’t continue the graduate student lifestyle in the way I had been. And so, even though my dissertation remains incomplete to this day, I am now back in my home state. Life in Utah hasn’t been quite as I expected, but I’m not sad about that. Sure, when I think about Tallahassee and the independence we felt, the great friends we had, the close-knit nature of our family during that time … well, I can’t help but wax a little nostalgic and miss it. But I was quite fearful that I would hate Utah more than I have, and that I would subsequently feel much more regretful than I do. Overall, moving back to Utah has proven a very good decision that yet holds a great deal of promise—for reasons that will become clearer later in this blog post.

I suppose the biggest negative hurdle of 2014, aside from the obvious stress associated with moving across the country, was my carpal tunnel syndrome (or CTS). Precipitated by my migration to Utah, my CTS went crazy in late June. Instead of sleepy hands in the morning and occasional dead arms waking me up in the night, my right hand had went fully numb and didn’t ease up whatsoever by the time I had arrived in Utah. My left hand felt much better but tested almost as poorly on the “let’s hook you up to a machine and zap you” test. Due to the move, I had to work out some insurance issues before I could get any genuine treatment. Long story short, I wasn’t able to have my first carpal tunnel release surgery until late September—three months after my right hand went dead. A couple of weeks later, I had the surgery on my left hand. And today, I am back to normal (aside from some very slight residual tenderness in my wrists if I apply a lot of pressure to them). It’s been blissful, and the recovery from the surgeries was, for me, a breeze. I’d recommend the surgery to anyone who is needlessly suffering from numbness in the hands. (Hint, hint, Melanie.)

Day-to-day life has changed a lot now that we live in Utah. Not only is Edison attending brick-and-mortar school, but so is Peter. It’s actually really fun to have Eddie and Peter going to “normal” school together. They both love it, and I’ve loved being involved in small ways here and there, like going on a field trip with Peter, attending assemblies, or taking my boys to special morning events where the school feeds us donuts. That’s a benefit of being a stay-at-home dad, which is basically what I’ve been since moving back to Utah. I’ve also had a chance to bond with Beegy, who until January was in my care almost exclusively. Meanwhile, Melanie is working at an elementary school and frequently tells me how happy she is. Can you imagine being so thrilled with your life that you have to keep telling people about it? Me either. I’m jeals to the hells. But in all sincerity, it brings me great joy and peace to know Melanie is thriving both emotionally and professionally. She’s wanted this for a long time. She’s in her element. It’s really cool. I don’t think things would’ve (or could’ve) worked out this nicely had we remained in Florida or moved anywhere else, including Southern Utah. This paragraph, folks, contains a lot of the “reasons that will become clearer” you’ve been so eager to see. Just in case you missed it.

Another cool development of 2014 is my expanded involvement with the Exploring Sainthood blog. I originally joined in 2013 as a “permablogger” (blog slang for a regular, recurring writer), but in March 2014 I accepted the invitation to become an editor and co–blog manager. Things looked iffy when in June, for reasons too complicated to explain and more complicated than you’d think, the ES website disappeared. For a while, I thought it was dead and gone and that was that. But, thanks to those with much more technical know-how than I, we got the site up and running again and even recovered almost every single blog post and podcast episode that had previously been published. We had our grand reopening in November and have since won the “Best Relaunch” award from the website Wheat & Tares (with a whopping five votes!). Yeah, we’re small potatoes, but our online presence has been steadily growing. We’ll see what happens during 2015.

If anything can rival moving back to Utah as the most significant event of 2014, it is probably this: being introduced to Community of Christ. One reason I was excited to move back to Utah is that I knew there would be a plethora of liberal Mormon–related events to attend. One such event coincided with the annual Sunstone symposium and featured John Hamer, a renowned historian of Joseph Smith’s Restoration movement. Hamer, who converted from the LDS faith to Community of Christ several years ago, gave two presentations at the Salt Lake City Public Library. Melanie and I attended both lectures and were quite fascinated. Community of Christ sounded like the kind of Mormonism I already embraced—more so, sadly, than the LDS Church to which I officially belong. This threw me for a loop. I didn’t know what to think. It seemed cuckoo to disregard Community of Christ when it seemed more in synch with my values and beliefs than what is currently practiced in LDS Mormonism. But maybe I was getting ahead of myself. Melanie and I decided we would attend a Community of Christ worship service sometime in the near future, just to see what it is like. It took a few months before we actually did attend Community of Christ, but once we did, we were immediately smitten. The contrast between Community of Christ services and what we get at a typical LDS church service is striking—in a good way. We loved it. But even after that first visit, I didn’t anticipate returning to Community of Christ anytime soon. However, the very next week, we somewhat spontaneously found ourselves returning. It was hard to pass it up, knowing how good it is. And this has basically been our predicament ever since—we simply like it soooooooo much better than the LDS Church. It has little to do with doctrine, mind you. It’s simply the people, the values, and the attitudes that come across. There is spiritual vitality at Community of Christ that I rarely feel in the LDS Church. That’s just the truth of my experience. Believe me, I wish I could say otherwise. But I can’t.

So, why do I say this is significant? Well, as I implied, we’ve been attending Community of Christ almost exclusively for the last three months. We’ve attended LDS church a few times, too, but it has been disastrous when we’ve done so. There are stories too laborious to tell, but they involve gossiping, panic attacks, a hefty dose of condescension, and what basically amounts to a 21st-century witch hunt. Even our children are so much happier at Community of Christ. The last time we announced we were going to LDS services, Peter nearly cried with disappointment. (Melanie, too.) But it’s not just that we’ve been attending Community of Christ for the last three months, it’s that we’re likely to continue attending them indefinitely. It’s what my kids want. It’s definitely what Melanie wants. And it’s hard for me not to want it, too. My story and experience is a bit more complicated. I will probably try to tell that story on my blog someday, but for now, suffice it to say that I continually see evidence that God is leading me to Community of Christ, whether I like it or not. And I’ll be honest, sometimes I’m not sure I like it. I wish the LDS Church could be what I want and need it to be, but it isn’t. Theologically, I love Mormonism, but having stepped back a little bit, it is as obvious as anything that there are severe problems in the LDS Church and community. And I truly think that I may be better able to live out my Mormon beliefs at Community of Christ than I can within the LDS Church. My theological beliefs haven’t changed. They really haven’t. But I can’t authentically or effectively live out my Mormonism in the LDS Church, it seems. That’s the great irony here. It’s as though I have to leave the Mormon Church in order to be a better Mormon. So, for me, it’s not a matter of being “converted” to anything, it’s simply that I feel God calling me to serve Him among different people, in a new place, where I can do more good. If that’s really what’s happening, it’s something I’ve been praying about for a long time. In fact, if I continue down this road, I wouldn’t be surprised if I enter the ministry full-time. That is something I felt called to long before I learned about Community of Christ, back when I didn’t think such a thing was even a possibility for me. That’s another reason this feels like something God is leading me to. I have had what seem to be spiritual impressions that are only now beginning to make sense as I learn about Community of Christ. It’s exhilarating, overwhelming, terrifying, heartbreaking, and beautiful all at once. 2015 is going to be a very, very interesting year, spiritually speaking.

2014 in Review: Food

This is the second entry in my blog series reviewing 2014. Click here to see my previous entry on books.

My life situation changed dramatically in 2014. Financially, geographically, and otherwise, 2014 ended with me in a very different place than I was when the year began. Because of this, there wasn’t nearly as much discovery in 2014 as there was in other recent years. When I wrote my food review of 2013, I mentioned that Tallahassee, Florida didn’t have a lot of enticing options. Moving back to Utah has been a net gain in the world of dining out, and yet we are less financially able to eat out than we were when we lived in Florida. That means we’ve yet to reap the culinary rewards of living here, at least to the extent that we someday will.

Although there were only a few eateries in Tallahassee that Melanie and I truly loved (or maybe even really liked), I feel I should present a kind of “In Memoriam” to those establishments whose cuisine will never again grace our taste buds. One of the saddest losses of 2014 is Bagelheads, the Christian bagel shop that featured the best sandwiches I’ve eaten outside of Utah. In my 2013 food review, I lamented the day I would move away from Tallahassee and no longer be able to patronize Bagelheads. Little did I know that Bagelheads would permanently close its doors just a few months later, with March 29, 2014 marking its final day in business. Melanie and I had to spend a sad three months in Tallahassee without our favorite bagel shop. The other restaurant we will truly miss is Tan’s Asian Café. Tan’s was about the nearest restaurant to our Tallahassee apartment, literally about a block away, and had the best Chinese food we’ve tasted outside of Utah. In fact, we now think it might be the best Chinese food we’ve had anywhere. We invested a great deal of our eating-out money to Tan’s, and I will miss them dearly. I will also miss Sonny’s and their barbecue food. I wouldn’t go so far as to say Sonny’s was amazing, but they were yummy and I’m not really sure where to go for my barbecue fix now that I’m back in Utah. Maybe I’ll know by the time I do my 2015 food review.

Moving back to Utah, I’ve actually been surprised to learn what restaurants from Tallahassee we won’t be missing. Marco’s Pizza is a chain restaurant, but they had become our favorite pizza place while living in Tallahassee. We were sad to leave Tallahassee, knowing Marco’s didn’t exist in Utah. Shortly after moving here, however, we saw that a Marco’s was being built not far from my parents’ home. We considered it a small miracle, one worth cheering about. Not long thereafter, I discovered a Wingstop here in Utah. Wingstop was another chain restaurant in Tallahassee that we quite liked but didn’t expect to find in Utah. I think the Wingstop here is quite new, and I couldn’t believe our luck. If we had had to choose two chain restaurants from Tallahassee that we’d want to take with us to Utah, Marco’s and Wingstop may very well have been the ones. Fast forward to just a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve discovered that they are building a Zaxby’s somewhat near to where we currently live. Zaxby’s is a chicken-based fast-food restaurant—if you think of Chick-fil-A, you’ll be in the ballpark—that has some pretty good food. We didn’t go there very often in Tallahassee, but I don’t mind having them as an option here in Utah. They’re good enough to visit every once in a while.

When it comes to genuine discoveries of 2014, I did most of my exploring back in Tallahassee. It almost seems pointless to talk about the good and bad restaurants I discovered in Tally, now that I’m nowhere near them. Still, as I have little else to talk about, I’ll go ahead and mention a few places. Probably my favorite Tallahassee discovery was the Flying Bear Great American Grill. Melanie and I had some coupons that resulted in us going to the Flying Bear on a date. (Because what’s more romantic than a date with coupons?) We had an appetizer of spinach and artichoke nachos, and we then shared a pasta entrée that featured cherry tomatoes, spinach, and mushrooms with a combination pesto-alfredo sauce. You couldn’t even tell that alfredo sauce was part of the equation, but the food was still very good and of high quality. The same was true on our follow-up visit, when we took the boys with us. Melanie stuck with pasta. A key part of her dish was pepperoni and habanero flakes. It almost sounds wacky, but it was super good. I customized a mushroom bacon burger, and it was great. If we were still living in Tallahasee, I would want to visit Flying Bear again.

Speaking of burgers, I’ve always been a fan of gourmet burger restaurants. I tried a few new ones in 2014. In Tallahassee, I tried both BurgerFi and Vertigo Burgers & Fries. Vertigo came first. It is largely regarded as one of the best burger joints in Tallahassee. It was pretty good, but messy. Peter had a slider, and we joked that it must be so-named because the meat kept sliding off the bun. Melanie and I had the same problem with our burgers. BurgerFi was very, very, very expensive. Ridiculously so. I admit, it was tasty, but it wasn’t any better than Five Guys (and may not have been quite that good), making their exorbitant prices a huge turn-off. I wouldn’t bother with them again. Since moving back to Utah, I have twice eaten at Smashburger. My buddy Matt treated me to Smashburger in early November. My burger didn’t quite wow me, but the quality of the food was high enough that I was eager to return and give them another shot. We went there as a family a couple of days before Christmas. I tried a different burger, but the result was the same—good, but not quite knocking me off my feet. Having given them two tries, I don’t think I’ll bother with them again. They’re fine, but if you’re living in Utah, it’s hard to justify wasting your time on anything other than Crown Burgers. Especially when Smashburger serves shoestring fries, which I feel are kind of an insult to customers. On the plus side, I very much enjoyed Smashburger’s “Smashfries,” which are tossed in olive oil, garlic, and rosemary, making them pretty darn good despite being very thin. As for other items on their menu that I’ve tried, their fried pickles are okay and their Nutter Butter shakes are unique, but not really worth bothering with.

I’m happy to report that my favorite food discovery of 2014 did indeed take place in Utah and so is something I’ll hopefully be able to enjoy for years to come. I’ve now eaten at Café Zupas a total of four times since moving back to Utah, which isn’t too shabby given that I can only splurge on such things once in a while. I’ve tried several soups and sandwiches at this point, and each and every one has been of high quality and mighty tasty. My favorite soup is the cauliflower cheese, and I’m still trying to decide what my favorite sandwich is. I quite like the pesto chicken Panini, but on my most recent visit, Melanie got the Honey Cilantro Carnitas sandwich and it was super friggin’ yummy. This is a place I will hope to return with some frequency.

Among my food discoveries of 2014 are a handful of sweet treats. Gigi’s Cupcakes is located a few doors down from the Flying Bear and has extremely fancy cupcakes. Too fancy, really. There’s a mountain of frosting atop each one. It looks pretty, but I’d rather pick up a pack of Hostess Cup Cakes from the gas station (and they’d be cheaper). Lofty Pursuits is a combination ice cream parlor / game shop in Tallahassee that has really good ice cream. Sadly, despite my intentions to return, I only visited them once. I had their pistachio ice cream, which had a very clean, airy, flowery flavor to it. I tasted a few other flavors, thanks to my family and, of course, taste spoons. All of the flavors had a slight alcoholic taste to them, or so I thought. One of the flavors I tried, whose name escapes me, tasted exactly like buttery mashed potatoes. I don’t think that was the goal, but so it was. And finally, back in Utah, Melanie and I took our boys to Daylight Donuts on the morning of New Year’s Eve. I was woefully unimpressed. The selection was shoddy, the donuts looked messy, and the store employee didn’t know anything about them. I assume it was an anomaly, but at the time we visited, they offered only cake donuts. I asked the guy, “So, you don’t have any available right now that aren’t cake donuts?” He pointed at one kind of donut and said, “Well, these are cake donuts.” He then pointed at another kind of donut and said, “And I think these are whatever the other kind is.” Both kinds of donuts he pointed to were cake donuts. Melanie later heard him saying to another customer, “I’ve been telling people these are cake donuts, but I’m not really sure.” Regardless, the donuts we selected were so-so. They were very, very sweet. I will never go there again, and I would encourage people not to.

Okay, that’s enough food for thought. Stay tuned for more 2014 in Review…

Clean Breaks, Dirty Money, and the Light at the End of the Tunnel

When we left Florida, we didn’t clean our apartment. This is the first time that Melanie and I have moved and purposely didn’t even attempt to clean. We just abandoned the apartment and let it be as is, which in a few respects was quite disastrous. I’ve had it said to me numerous times that there is no point in cleaning out an apartment because the landlord or management company will find reasons to keep your deposit anyway. But Melanie and I have always been responsible, up until now.

Imagine my surprise when we received a notice from our previous apartment complex outlining what they’ve done since we moved. We are getting back nearly half of our deposit. I’m totally surprised, but totally pleased. It’s quite a fortuitous turn of events, considering I learned earlier today that it would cost us exactly one dollar less than the amount we’ll be getting refunded in order to obtain Utah state driver licenses and a Utah state car tag. This includes some peripheral costs that will be a necessary part of the process, such as paying for safety and emissions tests. I guess we’ve been spoiled, but we never had to do safety and emissions inspections in Florida. Nor did we have to take any sort of driver’s test to get a new license, like Utah says we must. Add this to the fact that Melanie and I were usually able to walk in and out of a Florida DMV in about 5–10 minutes, and I’m not currently feeling all that excited about living in Utah. Unless things have changed dramatically in the eight years since I’ve lived here, visiting a Utah DMV is usually an all-day affair.

In other news, my carpal tunnel continues to wreak havoc and is probably getting worse. It’s now been about a week and a half of pretty much constant problems with my hand/arm going to sleep, feeling numb, and/or tingling in pain. However, at this exact moment, I’m seeing a glimmer of light at the end of this (carpal) tunnel. We notified our Florida insurance that we had moved out, but I just received notice that our insurance wouldn’t officially be discontinued until after July. I thought I didn’t have insurance and wasn’t really sure what I could do about this arm problem. Now I feel like I can go somewhere local and be covered, as long as I figure out where. I just wish I had found out more than two hours before a three-day July 4th weekend. It’s also Eddie’s birthday weekend, so there’s a lot going on and I suppose I’m going to have to wait a few more days before I can see anyone about this. But that’s much better than thinking I have potentially 30 days before I can get alternative coverage, which I thought was going to be the case. I’m so excited, I’m tingling! Oh wait, that’s just the pinched nerve in my arm. But still, I am very happy about this.

Greetings from Utah

I’m writing this blog post in Utah. Because I’m in Utah. Because I live in Utah.

Bizarre.

Melanie and I arrived in the Salt Lake Valley around 5 p.m. (Mountain Time) today. We’re now in the house we will consider our home for the next several months. Even so, it doesn’t seem real that we now live here and will not be going back to Florida. We’re used to visiting Utah during the summer every year, so this feels like a normal visit. Except, officially speaking, we’ve moved in.

I can’t think of anything interesting to report about our drive from Laramie, Wyoming to our new home in Utah. It was another day of feeling exhausted and fighting off sleep. It didn’t help that I struggled yet again in the night with dead arm problems. When I woke up at 5:45 a.m., I couldn’t get back to sleep for a while. My arm was too dead, and the hotel room was too bright. Despite the curtains being closed, their short length allowed a good dose of sunshine to flood the room by sneaking in beneath the curtains. For having curtains that actually close, this is the worst curtain situation I’ve ever encountered at a hotel. So, with lots of light and lots of pain, I moved myself to a desk chair and just sat for a while. Eventually, I ran my right hand under some scalding hot water, which can sometimes stimulate blood flow. It helped enough that I could return to the bed and catch another 20-30 minutes of sleep in relative comfort. (I’ve noticed something that I assume is related to this dead arm problem, and it’s that if I open and close my right hand, there is a kind of knocking in my wrist area. As I open-close-open, it does a kind of thunk-thunk-thunk. My left hand doesn’t do that, and I rarely have issues with my left arm going dead.)

The boys have had a lot of fun here at Grandma and Grandpa’s. They’ve played Minecraft and done a bit of swinging out in the backyard. Melanie and I felt chilled in the 66 degree evening weather. I loved it. I love the notion that we can sleep with our bedroom window open here, and it could actually be a positive thing!

Poor Edison, my anxiety-ridden boy, is struggling now that we’re here in Utah. He’s done amazingly well on the journey out here, and it gave me some false hope. Now that we’re at our destination, the worries are taking over. It’s heartbreaking that a seven-year-old can struggle with such relentless and profound anxiety. I hope this adjustment period passes quickly.

And that’s that. So our new chapter of life begins. Melanie pointed out that we’ve lived less than a full year of our married lives in Utah, while we’ve lived eight such years elsewhere. It’s strange to think that this is, in some sense, new territory for us when it’s otherwise such a hyper-familiar place for us to be.

Greetings from Lucedale, Mississippi

We did it. We loaded everything we own into a trailer being towed by my in-laws, and we have officially moved out of our Tallahassee apartment. We are now on our way back to Utah, spending our first night as non-Tallahassee residents at a hotel in Lucedale, Mississippi. This is all becoming very, very real.

Melanie’s parents arrived in Tallahassee at about 11 p.m. last night. We started loading the trailer they brought out from Utah at about 7 a.m. this morning. It was rough—I was running on about 3.5 hours of sleep, and it was extremely hot and humid from the moment the sun came up—but we had lots of generous help. I tell you, it’s some amazing people who will show up at 7 a.m. on a Sunday to help you load a trailer. God bless ‘em. I was sweating like a pig, but it went really well and quite quickly, all things considered. I’m grateful. If you’re reading this and you helped, thank you.

The heartbreak is finally settling in. We gave up a lot of good things to move from Tallahassee. Part of me can’t help wondering if we made the right choice. It’s an understandable reaction. I’m in mourning. It’s funny the little things that can bring on the heartache. I never felt sad looking at my apartment as it became increasingly, and eventually totally, bare. I didn’t feel sad pulling away from our apartment, knowing it was the last time I’d be there. What caused a twinge of sadness was seeing Eddie’s Spider-Man bike sitting in the donation area of Goodwill when we stopped by to drop off our couches and computer desk. We’d left the bike there a few days before, and its appearance this morning seemed a symbolic reminder of change and the fleetingness of childhood and certain periods of life. (The bike is several years old at this point.) Just seeing it there, all alone and abandoned, seemed too appropriate. Loss. That’s what it felt like. And then greater sadness hit when we finally pulled onto the freeway, officially departing Tallahassee. That solidified the fact that Tallahassee is now largely a memory. It was a very somber moment.

Obviously, there isn’t much to say about our journey thus far. We didn’t spend nearly as much of our day driving as I thought we would. I thought we’d get a lot farther than this on our first day. But Melanie’s mom was going insane being stuck in a car, which makes total sense given all that she’s been through over the last several days. She couldn’t handle it when the GPS system we were using to guide us today diverted us onto smaller highways rather sticking to major interstates, which is part of the problem my in-laws faced on their way to Tallahassee. So, feeling a little stir crazy, she asked us to stop, and we stopped. The kids were excited to get to a hotel, so they were totally fine cutting the drive a bit short. I’m a bit concerned about how long our days of driving will be over the next few days, because I don’t think anyone is up for extending the amount of days we spend in transit. I wanted to get the longest day of driving out of the way first. As it turns out, today will probably be our shortest day of driving. Considering my lack of sleep, I’m rather surprised that I myself wasn’t desperate to call it a day, but I was actually enjoying driving the back roads of Alabama. It was pleasant and low-key, and I felt like I could’ve gone a lot longer. I’m worried I won’t have that sort of stamina tomorrow. I’m worried my lack of sleep will hit me then, since it obviously didn’t impact me much today. (And, truth be told, I think I’ve only had about 8 or 9 hours total sleep in two days. That’s definitely going to bite me soon.)

As I look forward to tomorrow, my hope is that we’ll find something new to eat, food-wise. Excluding breakfast, my last three meals have basically been the exact same thing. On our last night in Tallahassee, we used a gift certificate to go to Flying Bear, where I had a bacon mushroom burger with fries. This afternoon, for lunch, we stopped at McDonald’s. I had a Big Mac and fries. And tonight, because our hotel is located next to a single gas station and a single food place, I had a country fried steak sandwich—essentially just a fried burger—and yes, some fries. I also had some jalapeno poppers, which were a nice touch and spiced things up a bit (although more figuratively than literally).

My goal has been to chronicle this journey back to Utah, but I’m realizing there probably won’t be much to talk about. Aside from driving, we’ll eat. It’s kind of embarrassing to write about nothing but food. But if that’s all I’ve got to go on, so be it. Stay tuned.

A Final Post from Tallahassee

This will be my final blog post written from Tallahassee.

Probably.

While we are mostly packed up and ready to go, we thought we were loading up a trailer this morning. As you may recall, Melanie’s parents are driving out to meet us with a large trailer that they own. That was to be our mode of moving, and we expected them to arrive last night so that we could load the trailer this morning. We then figured we’d officially depart Tallahassee on Sunday morning.

Then disaster struck.

On the way out, Melanie’s parents broke down. They had to get a new alternator. We thought this might delay them, but the work was done quickly and we were relieved to learn that they would still make to Tallahassee at the regularly scheduled time. But then, yesterday, their truck broke down again. Only the situation was much worse. The truck very nearly burst into flames. Everything under the hood was so hot that mechanics couldn’t do anything with it for quite some time. The heat damaged tons of stuff. The computer was fried, and before they even got done looking things over, they knew it would cost at least $4,000 to fix the truck, just for the parts. No labor included.

Moving postponed.

Although it’s not Melanie’s and my fault, we both feel some residual guilt that her parents are in this situation. I don’t know how they are handling it, but I feel terrible for them. The damage was so bad and would be so expensive to fix, they have decided to buy a new truck. Their generosity of coming out to help us move has resulted in them having to buy a new vehicle. They are already on their way to us again, and will be here tonight. We can then load up tomorrow. I’m not sure if we’ll try to leave soon after loading up, trying not to lose any more time, or if we’ll try to catch our breath and leave on Monday morning. It doesn’t really matter for Melanie and me, thankfully. But Melanie’s dad has taken time off work to come help us out. You can see how the guilt adds up, right?

To focus on good news, we sold several big items in the last week or so. We’ve sold many things for very little, so it’s not like we’re raking in the dough. That’s not the point. It’s just nice to simplify. And yes, we’ve given away some things for free. But the most wonderful news is that we sold our minivan, the one that gave us relentless trouble after we first bought it. The van wasn’t even in working condition when we sold it, so we feel pretty lucky. The guy that came and looked it over knew what he was doing and got it running. We then sold it to him for half of what we were asking, which is about what we had hoped to get out of it. We honestly thought it might end up being donated to Goodwill, so the fact that we got anything out of it feels like reason to celebrate. We are stoked. It will help us immensely.

And that’s that. Although I guess it’s worth mentioning that, even with our home packed up in boxes, I haven’t started to feel weird about moving. I thought it would hit me by now, but apparently it’s a delayed reaction. Or maybe I’m more mentally prepared for the change than I expected. I suspect it’s just a delay, but we’ll see.

Moving in Motion

Crunch time is upon us. Sometime during the next two to three weeks, Melanie and I will be moving back to Utah. We’re not entirely certain of our moving date, as crazy as that sounds. Melanie’s dad has insisted on coming out to help us, but he has some work obligations, the dates of which aren’t quite set in stone themselves. Since his dates continue to fluctuate a bit, so does our moving date. As this point, we are quite confident that three weeks from today will be the absolute latest day of departure for us. Possibly, it will be two or three days earlier. But it’s unlikely to fall outside of that timeframe. Soon enough, it will be a reality that our time living in Florida is forever a memory. It’s mind-boggling to me. And heart-boggling, too.

Some good news to report, all of which relates at least somewhat to our preparing to move:

• Edison finished out his school year. He’s done with second grade. Holy moly. He got straight A’s during his most recent semester. Melanie and I have been incredibly impressed with how well Edison’s done with school, especially with his transition from virtual school. Eddie is already mourning the loss of his schoolmates. Poor kid. I myself was in second grade when a good friend announced he was moving. I remember bawling about it on the spot and embracing this kid, right there in the middle of class. I wrote about it in my journal that day, noting what I was going to miss about this person, the things that he would do and say. It’s amazing how emotionally sophisticated children can be. I worry about Eddie during this time of transition. He’s such a sensitive (and anxious) soul. He’s not the kind of kid that will take kindly to change, let alone major upheavals like moving across the country. Thank goodness we’re moving toward family rather than away from them. Hopefully, this will be the last major move of Melanie’s and my life. That’s my goal right now, anyway. Yes, we might move around within the general Salt Lake City area, but hopefully that’s it. Sigh. Okay, sorry, I’ve kind of dampened the “good news” aspect of this, haven’t I? Let’s move on (no pun intended)…
• Melanie received some wonderful news yesterday. As a part of applying for teaching jobs in Utah, she had to have a background check. She was originally told that, due to reasons having to do with us currently living outside of Utah, her background check might not clear until the middle of July. That has prevented Melanie from taking some necessary steps in applying for jobs. But her background check has now cleared! This is terrific news and will be extremely beneficial to us! Melanie can now officially apply for teaching positions with Utah school districts! What’s more, we’ve now learned that she needn’t go through the more complicated “alternative licensure program” in order to be licensed again to teach in Utah. Because she previously had a license, she can simply renew or reactivate that license, and it’s apparently a much, much simpler process. We are stoked!
• Melanie and I have decided to get rid of several big items before we move. The couches we bought early on in our Tallahassee life are in quite crappy condition now. They were cheap, so I guess that’s how it goes. We’re also leaving behind a kitchen table and chairs, a big dresser and mirror, our computer desk, our minivan, and perhaps more. Don’t worry, though. Melanie has kept herself busy acquiring new pieces of furniture for us to transport across the country. She’s picked up a few freebies from friends that fortuitously happen to be fleeing Florida about the same time we are. Two semi-close sets of friends have departed Tallahassee within the last couple of days, and we know a couple of other people who will be leaving within the next year or so. I guess that’s how it goes in a college town, but this really does seem like a time of change in the circles in which we run. I guess that makes it as good a time as any for us to leave.

And that’s my update for now. Who knows how many opportunities I’ll get to write over the next month. I like to chronicle major events as they happen, but it’s hard to do so precisely because they are major events and so require more of my time. We’ll see what happens.

The End of an Era

With very mixed emotions, I hereby announce that my family and I will be moving back to Utah within the next two months. Even though Melanie and I have been toying with this idea for a while now, it still doesn’t seem completely real to me. It’s hard to fathom that I really won’t be living in Tallahassee anymore, and it’s equally hard to imagine being in Utah and not having a plan to leave within a few weeks’ time. It has been eight years since we lived there, and it has been six years since we moved to Tallahassee. Our kids don’t know anywhere else as home. This is a big deal. It’s also a heartbreaking deal. It’s also an exciting deal. And from a practical standpoint, it’s most likely a necessary deal. But “big” is a simpler description, so I’ll just stick with that. This is a big deal.

You may wonder why we’re doing this. (I’m pretending I have people who read my blog right now. Just play along.) Have I finished my PhD? Did I land some awesome job in Utah? Did my rich, estranged uncle die and leave me his Utah estate in his will? Sadly, the answer to all of these questions is “no.” But there are good reasons for moving on. First of all, Melanie and I can’t sustain our way of life without something changing in the employment category. My stipend doesn’t cut it, and we don’t want to take on more debt. Add to that the fact that Melanie has long been wanting to get back into teaching elementary school. Now, it may seem that if Melanie gets a teaching job, the problem with my insufficient stipend disappears. Well, sort of. In principle, perhaps. But Melanie will have it much easier getting a job in Utah, because that’s where all of her connections are. Plus, that’s where she would like to teach. And where we ultimately think we want to live. (Crazy, I know.) So there is a strong incentive to move to Utah and start that process of securing Melanie in a Utah-based teaching job and getting settled in the area now. Why wait? There isn’t much of a reason to. If we’re not relying on my stipend, I can finish my PhD from anywhere. And if we were to stay here in Tallahassee, we’d have the issue of needing to put Creegan into childcare if Melanie got a job. We’d much rather have him hang out with his grandparents, which is something that can happen in Utah. So, as it turns out, the real question is not, “Why are we going back to Utah?”, but, “Why should we stay in Tallahassee?”

Well, I can think of some damn good reasons to want to stay in Tally. And that’s what breaks my heart about moving away. Trust me, I’ve got mixed feelings both about leaving Tallahassee and about living in Utah. They are two sides of the same coin, but both sides have their own unique pros and cons. There are many reasons that I will mourn our departure from Tallahassee. We love Eddie’s school, and we’d be thrilled to have Peter and eventually Creegan go there. We have made excellent friends, and that circle of friendship has grown a lot lately. We have independence here, which is extremely beneficial from a psychological standpoint. And despite the terrible heat and humidity during much of the year, the weather can be quite pleasant during months when it would be terrible elsewhere. As if to tease us, Tallahassee has been unseasonably cool this spring. It has been crisp, gray, and rainy for the last few weeks—my favorite type of weather. As I type this, looking out my window at lush green trees dripping with the residue of intermittent rain, I can barely tolerate picturing the snowstorms I will be putting up with for several months each year in Utah. I know this is for the best, but man. I can get really depressed about leaving.

I really do have a lot of anxiety about moving back to Utah, and part of me really does fear that I will regret it and feel miserable. I’m hoping that’s not true, though. I’m hoping once I’m there, Utah will slip back over me like a comfortable and familiar (even if imperfect) glove. There are definitely things I look forward to, and I know that on our last two visits, I felt certain that I wanted to return to live in Utah. I really do believe—or at least very adamantly hope—that the pros outweigh the cons. I look forward to much about being there, even as I fear feeling like the last decade or so of my life has been one prolonged U-turn. I do worry about feeling like I never really progressed, or like I’ve failed, or something like that. In some ways, these fears are absurd. When I last lived in Utah, I had one child, a newborn. I didn’t have any graduate degrees. I wasn’t as clear on what I wanted to do with my life as I am now. I have learned a lot about myself since I left, so it’s silly to view this as going back to square one. That makes no sense at all, rationally speaking, and yet those are the kinds of feelings I’ve had. I guess that’s to be expected. Big life changes are kind of like the hands that shake up our psychological snow globes and get our thoughts and feelings swirling all higgledy-piggledy.

See, even writing this has helped me feel a little better. I have good friends in Utah that I will be excited to see. Family. More cultural/intellectual events to partake of. A helluva lot more good food. I think I can be okay.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

Keep the Change? Yes, Please!

In the relatively little time since I last wrote, life has delivered lots of craziness to our door. Big changes are either afoot or (hopefully) just around the corner. Edison has un-enrolled from virtual school and will be starting at a “normal” school tomorrow. This is a big deal for us. While virtual school is considered public school and is not the same thing as homeschooling, we’ve never had to take a child to a school building five days a week. Doing so makes it all feel more “real” somehow, like we’ve taken yet another step into “reality.” Funny thing, Edison was supposed to start at his new school today, but all of the local schools have been closed today due to ice and snow storms. Yes, in Florida. Apparently, the last time it snowed here was briefly in 1989. I haven’t seen any actual snow yet, but it’s supposedly possible. So far, it’s just little itty bitty ice pellets. But hey, my college class was cancelled too, so I’m happy. I should mention that Eddie’s going to be in the same class as his best friend, Natalie. That’s a very exciting development. I can’t believe how optimistic Eddie’s been about all of this. He’s prone to anxiety, which is why Melanie and I are thrilled that he’s going to be in Natalie’s class. That will really help him adjust, methinks. But even before we knew that, Eddie was looking forward to his new school. He and Melanie went on a tour of the school about a week ago, and Eddie came home telling me how awesome it is. One thing that really excites him: they sometimes have “brunch for lunch,” which consists of pancakes, sausage, and hash browns. Whatever gets him excited about school works for me!

In other wild news, I am preparing to make my first venture into the job market. Cross my fingers, it will also be my last venture into the job market. For discretionary reasons, I won’t say much in the way of details right now, but I will say that I really, really, really want this one. It sounds perfect for me, and I truly believe I am perfect for it. It’s a teaching-oriented job with little to no research (re: publishing) requirements. I like writing, but I really enjoy the teaching side of things and like the idea of being able to write (and maybe even publish) on subjects other than academic philosophy when I have the chance. This will allow for that. In fact, I would have the summers off, which would open up some time to work not only on other writing but on music. If that weren’t enough, the job would bring us immensely closer to our families and friends in Utah. I can truly see this being a permanent job for me; I see no reason that I’d ever want to leave! And that’s fantastic, because I have no interest in bouncing around the country every one or two years while trying to land something more permanent. This is a tenure-track position, so I could be there long-time if it all works out. I’ve tried really hard not to get my hopes up, but man … they’re flying pretty high right now. Of course, I haven’t even submitted an application yet. There’s a lot that goes into that, so I’m working on getting all of the materials gathered. Hopefully I’ll send my application off within the next week or so. Wish me luck!

Utah: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

After approximately two-and-a-half weeks of work-vacationing in Utah, I can’t help but wonder how it would be to live once again in my home state. I have very mixed feelings about this, as I’ve expressed previously (see here). But as my time in graduate school draws nearer and nearer to an end, I can’t help but take the idea of moving back to Utah all the more seriously. I very well could end up back here if I try. And so the question is, do I want to try?

I’ve compiled and will now present to you, my faithful reader (Hi, Mom!), a short list of the pros and cons of moving back to Utah. To be fair, this list is based on the assumption that if I don’t come back to Utah, I’ll be staying in Tallahassee. Or, rather, this list compares my life in Tallahassee to my potential life in Utah. Thus, if I say something is a pro of moving to Utah, what that really means is that it is an area of my life that would improve if I moved to Utah, as compared to my current lifestyle in Tallahassee. Similarly, if I say something is a con of moving to Utah, what I really mean is that Tallahassee is better than Utah in that particular respect. (And, to be even more specific, I’m comparing living in Salt Lake City to living in Tallahassee.) When it comes down to it, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll stay in Tallahassee after completing my Ph.D., and so this list is only provisionally meaningful. There are certainly pros and cons on this list that would not be pros or cons if I compared Salt Lake City to some other city in which I could end up living. But you get the basic idea.

A final note before I present the list. I have not included proximity to family and friends as either a pro or a con on this list. Obviously, it is both. But I have purposely kept this list limited to those things that seem less personal, that are features of the state rather than features of particular people that happen to live here. None of my Utah family members and/or friends should be saddened by their exclusion from this list. Indeed, it may be for the best that I did not include you on it. Who knows what I would have said about you?

And finally, here are the pros and cons:

Pro #1: More to Do (Especially for a Family)
The Salt Lake City area is a pretty great place to live if you’ve got a family. There are lots of things to do. There are museums, a zoo, an amusement park a mere 20-ish minutes away, cool libraries, tons of movie theaters, recreational opportunities aplenty, professional basketball, baseball, and soccer, etc., etc., etc. There are lots of community events, especially at certain times of the year. There are tons of places to see fireworks on the 4th of July, for example, and there seem to be two or three free movies being shown in some nearby park or another almost every single weekend during the summer months. For the adults, you’ve got ballet, opera, live theater, restaurants of varying degrees of snootiness, casinos a mere two hours’ drive away (if that’s your thing), and contrary to what some people would expect, bars and sex shops! Even for a boring fella such as myself who predominantly enjoys going to the movies, Salt lake City affords one the opportunity of going to a different movie theater almost every week of the year! So many other cities are easily accessible from SLC that a sizable chunk of metropolitan Utah feels as though it’s right outside your door. But so are the mountains, meaning you can hike, rock climb, bird watch, ski, snowboard, and much more! Whether you prefer your nights on the town or in the tops of the mountains, you’re good living in SLC. Tallahassee offers jack squat in comparison.

Con #1: Traffic
Granted, SLC isn’t half as bad as places like Los Angeles, Atlanta, or Seattle when it comes to traffic congestion. But most of the main roads in the Salt Lake City area seem to be perpetually busy, at least (and especially) in comparison to Tallahassee. The freeway in Tally is, at its worst, much better than the freeway in Salt Lake City at its best, and Tallahassee rush hour is a less strenuous adventure than is trying to get out of a downtown Salt Lake City mall parking lot (regardless of the time of day). Road construction also is unending in Utah. The same roads that were whittled down to one lane in each direction back in 2011 are whittled down to one lane in each direction this year. As they were the year before that. And the year before that. Or so it seems. Honestly, I don’t know if the main road off of which Melanie’s parents live has ever NOT been under construction! Orange cones and barrels seem to have a permanent residence on SLC roads, and it’s obnoxious. Furthermore, Utah drivers suck. I didn’t realize that before, but man oh man, are they pushy … and impatient … and often times just plain reckless! Perhaps it’s simply that there are so many more drivers here than in Tally, but since our arrival, Melanie and I have rarely been on the road without having some futtface bonehead nearly drive us off the road. It’s a joke.

Pro #2: Food, Food, Food!
Not only are there more options for food in Salt Lake City than in Tallahassee, but the food available is of a much higher quality. This is especially true of Chinese and Mexican food. Since moving to Atlanta six years ago and then to Tallahassee four years ago, Melanie and I have found only one Chinese restaurant that we truly enjoy. We’ve found maybe one Mexican restaurant that we like, but in all fairness, we only like* it (that is, with an asterisk). It’s good enough to satisfy our cravings, since nothing else is available, but it pales in comparison to Utah Mexican food. (Some of you may recall me writing about this problem here.) But even apart from “ethnic” food, there are simply tons of great restaurants in Utah that far outshine anything Melanie and I have found elsewhere. Sure, we’ve come to have our favorites in Tallahassee, but they’re merely our favorites of what’s available. They’re not the kinds of places we’ll miss when we leave Tallahassee. Not a single one of them. Meanwhile, I could cry over some of the food in Utah and how dearly I miss it. It’s just that good.

Con #2: Culture
Salt Lake City trumps Tallahassee when it comes to the kind of culture I described in Pro #1. But it also trumps Tallahassee in another kind of culture—Utah / Mormon culture. And, in my personal opinion, this is a bad thing. One of the best things about living outside of Utah is not dealing with the ceaseless, in-your-face-ness of Utah’s predominant religion. Don’t get me wrong—it’s not the religion itself. It’s the people who adhere to it. And since there are so bloody many of them, advertisers and everyone else caters to those religious beliefs like there’s no tomorrow. Mormon-themed stores, products, and advertising permeate the scene. Even though I myself am a Mormon, I find it all a bit nauseating and offensive—in part because it has a tendency to marginalize those who don’t hold certain beliefs, and in part because it treats Mormons themselves like idiots who will lap up anything that bears even a fabricated relationship to their faith. Unfortunately, plenty of Utah Mormons do lap this stuff up, and that’s why religious affiliation is such a hot commodity in Utah. To put it as simply as I can, Mormonism is a brand name here. (Again, this has nothing directly to do with the tenets of the faith, but is merely an unfortunate byproduct of having so many Mormons living together en masse.) I feel like this is a topic I could go on and on about, and probably I will write about it again. But to keep things as brief as possible for the purposes of this post, I will say only that I hate the exclusivity and divisiveness that exists within Utah culture. As I personally aspire to be both an open-minded, intellectually honest person and a devout member of my faith, I sometimes find that I don’t fit comfortably on either side of Utah’s enormous metaphorical fence.

Pro #3: Radio
I was shocked when I moved from Salt Lake City to Atlanta and discovered that the latter had inferior radio stations. I thought that a big city like Atlanta would have more to offer. They didn’t. I found only one or two radio stations that were moderately enjoyable. The rest of them sucked. Tallahassee radio, surprisingly, has proven a vast improvement over Atlanta radio and offers a handful of stations that I genuinely like. Tallahassee’s WANK (conveniently pronounced “Hank”) 99.9 FM may be as good and enjoyable a station as any I have ever listened to in Utah. In fact, I’m not altogether certain that Utah radio is qualitatively better than Tallahassee radio. But it is quantitatively better, in that there is more of the good stuff in Utah. Of special note is Utah’s long-running morning program Radio from Hell (on X96.1 FM), which far outshines anything coming out of Tallahassee.

Con #3: Radio Commercials
Or more specifically, commercials and commercials and commercials and commercials and commercials. For the vast number of radio stations that I don’t mind listening to in Utah, it can be surprisingly hard to find any actual music to listen to. This is because Utah radio seems to play about 12 minutes of music for every broadcast hour. I don’t know if I can possibly be right about this, but I feel as if there is sincerely 2-3 times as much advertising on Utah radio as there is on Tallahassee radio. In that regard, listening to Utah radio can be a much more frustrating endeavor. And, of course, it’s all the worse to hear ads in Utah because of the kinds of ads you get (see Con #2 above and, once again, this previous post). Still, on those rare occasions when you find some actual music playing, Utah radio can treat you pretty well.

Pro #4: Mountains
I’m not an outdoorsman by any stretch of the imagination. I can’t recall ever doing anything that would count as honest-to-goodness camping (i.e. camping that wasn’t in somebody’s backyard and that didn’t involve a camper trailer or sleeping in the back of a covered truck). I’m not confident that the number of hikes I’ve been on would outnumber my fingers and toes. And I’ve never skied, despite growing up in one of the world’s foremost skiing destinations. But I do love the mountains. I do. Even when I lived in Utah, it was hard not to stare in appreciative wonder whenever I’d drive near to them. And the wonderful thing is, you get pretty close to them all of the time! Just walking out of Melanie’s parent’s front door, one’s eyes are assaulted with mountainous beauty. I don’t get sick of seeing them. They are stunning. And comforting somehow. If I find myself facing too flat of a landscape, I can sometimes feel as if I am drowning. The sky feels too close, and I know I can’t get to any ground that is higher than that on which I already stand. It can make me feel helpless.

Con #4: Trees
As beautiful as Utah’s mountains are, its trees cannot compare to those that grow outside of a desert. I fell in love with Seattle as a teenager, in large part because of the trees. And it’s not merely that a place like Seattle has far more trees than Utah does, although this is undeniably true. It’s that Seattle trees are so much more lush and green than those that grow in Utah. And when it comes to trees, Tallahassee (and even Atlanta) is much more like Seattle than like Utah. And this is one thing that I truly love about living in Tallahassee. When I drive to school in Tally, I get to drive down what’s known as a “canopy road,” a road that is absolutely shrouded in trees. It is gorgeous and never ceases to amaze me. And that is something I would miss about living in Utah. Granted, Utah has trees, and they look good blanketing the mountains. But Utah trees are to Tallahassee trees as VHS is to Blu-ray. If I move back to Utah, I will miss my high-definition Tallahassee trees.

Pro #5: Low Humidity
Yes, Utah gets hot. But the lack of humidity offers many perks in the summertime months that more humid climates could never afford. Even in late July and August, it is rare in northern Utah for the air outside not to feel pleasantly comfortable, and sometimes downright cool, in the morning and late evening hours. And even when it does heat up, you don’t get drenched in sweat the way you would in Tallahassee. In Tallahassee, at least for much of the year, you are hot and sticky from the very moment you walk outside—even if you do so in the middle of the night! And it’s an all-encompassing sticky sweatiness: your clothes, your head, your hair, your entire body—all of it feels damp and slimy within seconds of leaving a well air-conditioned home or vehicle. There’s just no way to put a positive spin on something like that. In contrast, sweating in Utah feels like something you do as a healthy biological creature rather than something that the weather somehow does to you. Put another way, in Tally, it’s as though the Florida air sweats all over you rather than that you sweat because of it. And that’s just gross. When I sweat in Utah, it gets under my arms, on top of my head if I’m standing in the sun. Natural, normal places to sweat. My entire body doesn’t begin to ooze simply because I’ve walked outside. My clothes don’t smell of must and mildew after I spend a few minutes in the Utah sun. In Tallahassee, it’s a whole other story. The lack of humidity alone could be a selling point for moving back to Utah.

Con #5: Dry Air
As always, there are two sides to every story. The lack of humidity in Utah has two major setbacks for me. One, I suspect it is the reason that I used to get somewhat frequent and seemingly spontaneous nosebleeds when I lived in Utah. Since moving away from Utah, I’ve had maybe one or two nosebleeds. Total. In contrast, I used to get at least 6 or 7 nosebleeds per year in Utah, and I’m trying to be very conservative when I make that estimate. It may have been closer to 12, or maybe even 15. I know they occurred frequently, but I’m willing to admit that having a nosebleed every five or six weeks would seem rather frequent to a person. Regardless, my penchant for Utah nosebleeds is probably related to a second problem with the state’s lack of humidity: very dry skin. In wintertime especially, my knuckles and elbows dry out quite a bit when I’m living in Utah. They crack and bleed and sting with pain. My dry elbow skin will even catch on my shirt or jacket sleeves and cause discomfort. I don’t think I ever had these kinds of problems in Utah during the summertime, but I worry that I’ve since acclimatized to Florida in such a way that I will suffer all the more if I ever move back to Utah. Even on this trip, the big knuckle on my right hand is feeling and looking a bit dry. Yikes.

Pro #6: The Library System(s)
Just as I was shocked by the qualitative discrepancies between their radio stations, I was flabbergasted (or maybe just flummoxed) when I moved to Atlanta and found its library system to be inferior to that of Salt Lake City’s. In my experience, at least, there was no comparing the two. Perhaps it’s just my personal tastes and the kinds of things I tried to find, but Atlanta rarely had what I was looking for. In contrast, the Salt Lake City library system had most anything I ever sought. This is especially true when you combine it with Salt Lake County’s library system, which I personally liked even more than the city’s. (Those who live in Salt Lake City proper have the luxury of utilizing both library systems.) As an added bonus, the libraries in Utah are themselves nicer and neater. While several of the Tallahassee libraries are located in strip malls, Utah libraries are located in picturesque old school buildings and churches, or housed in modern architectural marvels such as this:

Case closed!

Con #6: Winter
It’s so obvious, you’ve probably been wondering why I haven’t mentioned it already. Indeed, as beautiful as it may look from the comfort of your living room sofa as you stare out the window and sip your hot cocoa, there’s nothing fun about snow-heavy winters. Not when you actually have to go outside and deal with it, that is. Yes, the Utah snow makes wintertime commutes especially laborious. At best, your commute is slow, wet, messy, and cold. At worst, it’s literally impossible to get anywhere. And then there are the commutes that fall somewhere in between, where you get only partway to your destination before you skid off the road, or get stuck in a snow bank, or crash into someone else who is skidding off the road or getting stuck in a snow bank, etc. I’ll be honest, I fear that my current fondness for Utah would disintegrate immediately if I were to spend a few days here in December or January. And that means I stand a real chance of regretting a return to my home state. Of all of the cons on my list, this one would be the hardest to overlook. So that worries me. And even when and if road conditions remain semi-decent in the wintertime, as they sometimes do, it is such a pain to bundle kids into heavy coats and then try to cram them into their car seats. It makes going anywhere very unappealing. That’s just the truth. Now, I’ll admit that sometimes I miss the snow. It’s soft and peaceful, and when it decorates the entire city, it makes everything look timeless and serene. Wintertime in Utah has always been a very nostalgic time for me, and I miss that feeling. Even when I find myself wearing long pants, long sleeves, and a decent jacket in Tallahassee (if I remember correctly, this kind of weather is known to Floridians as “January 12th”), it lacks the distinctive ambiance of a snow-filled Utah winter. Even so, I have never once wished to myself that I could spend my mornings in Florida driving through the snow, or scraping the snow and ice off of my car before heading to school, or walking across campus in knee-high piles of snow that leave my shoes and socks thoroughly soaked. And that’s precisely what I’ll get living in Utah.

So there you have it. I’m sure there are other issues to consider, but I think this captures the most salient concerns—both good and bad—that I’ve had about returning to Utah. When it comes right down to it, I will admit that, at this moment, I do plan to at least try to make it back here someday. Despite my worries, I’m less iffy than ever about returning. And my fear of regret is slowly dissipating as well, which means I’m almost certain to return if given the chance. I’m even starting to take it for granted that I’ll live here again, which is dangerous because it’s not altogether up to me. Professionally speaking, the opportunity may never present itself. And yet at this point, I can’t help but expect to live here again. It may be wishful thinking, but more and more, it seems my return is inevitable. We shall see.

Independence Day 2012

I’ve long regarded the Fourth of July to be one of the most stressful holidays to celebrate. It requires effort, patience, and more of competitive spirit than I’d typically like to offer. To get anywhere near a decent fireworks show involves becoming part of a mass exodus. Unless you want to be stuck watching the fireworks through a thicket of tall trees that nearly obscure them from view, you have to lay claim to a spot of land early. Unless you happen to live very near to a park or venue at which a firework show is scheduled, this requires driving somewhere and battling for a parking spot. Of course, if you’re going early enough to get a good spot of land on which to sit and watch the fireworks, you’re more likely to get a decent parking spot. Your payment will come after the show, when you find yourself smack dab in the middle of the chaos and have to fight your way out of it. In the past, it’s taken me hours to drive a few miles after a fireworks show. A cavalcade of vehicles trying to ford an unending stream of pedestrians is time-consuming business. If you’re content to watch the fireworks from afar, you might avoid some of this hubbub, but chances are you won’t avoid it completely. You’ll either end up just on the outskirts of the mania at the cost of a less spectacular show, or you’ll be competing with other folks who are trying the same alternative approach to observing fireworks that you are. The further from the show you get, the less the madness. But then you’re left figuring out where exactly you can go and still be able to see the show. Nothing comes free on the day we celebrate our freedom.

I mention all of the above only because I’m so extremely pleased by my experience this year. This was our fourth Fourth (and likely our final Fourth) of July in Tallahassee. One thing I absolutely love about this town is that, at its most manic, it’s not that bad. The busiest, most crowded places I’ve been have been quite tolerable. I’ll miss that if I ever move to a larger city (which I fully expect and hope to do). But even the Fourth of July can get a bit hectic around here. Probably the very worst crowd situation I’ve dealt with in Tally came two years ago, when Melanie and I took the kids to the fireworks show at Tom Brown Park. Tom Brown Park offers the granddaddy of fireworks shows in Tallahassee, and we found ourselves about as close to the show as was possible. It took forever getting out afterwards, and I hoped not to repeat that in the future. Last year, we ended up learning about a fireworks show that takes place at a small lake even nearer to our home than Tom Brown Park. We celebrated the Fourth at the lake in 2011, and it worked out beautifully. It still took some time getting out afterwards, but nothing like the two previous years. This year, we again decided to take to the lake, and it was an even more blissful experience. Here’s a quick rundown of the night’s events.

At about 745pm, we arrive at the lake, having loaded up on treats/snacks at a nearby Circle K. We pull right up to the park area in front of the lake, as close as you could possibly get to the “seating” area without driving onto the grass and killing people. A better parking spot could not have been had. As we get out of the van, the kids are excited by the presence of inflatable bounce houses. We didn’t see those last year, but it may be because we were slightly more removed and more late-coming to the festivities. I’m not convinced they were new this year. Regardless, the bounce houses were free. They were also giving away free snow cones, and possibly free burgers. The kids played in the bounce houses a couple of times during the approximately 90-minute wait until the firework show began. They also ran around a fair deal. The humidity was worse than I can remember it being since we’ve moved here, but everyone remained in fairly good spirits. We enjoyed our treats and the wait time passed quickly enough.

At approximately 915pm, someone sang the national anthem and the firework show got underway. Eddie and Peter were both fascinated. Eddie felt extreme pride over his lack of fear. Last year, the noise had frightened him enough that he didn’t even want to look at the fireworks. He refused to watch, even with his ears covered. When the show was over, he was devastated that he had missed it all. Needless to say, I was quite pleased that Eddie was nothing but enamored of the fireworks this year. He kept his ears covered, but as he himself proudly and loudly proclaimed to us in mid-show, he wasn’t scared at all. Sadly, the same cannot be said of Creegan. Before the official fireworks show got underway, some nearby residents were setting off fireworks. They were the kind that shoot up into the air and explode, but they were obviously nothing in comparison to the “real” fireworks. Creegan was curious about these lesser fireworks, but they did nothing to prepare him for the official fireworks show. As soon as the official fireworks started to pop, Creegan scrambled into Melanie’s arms and held on tight, burying his face into her shoulder. After a moment or two, he climbed over to me and I held him for the remainder of the show. I kept my thumb over his left ear as he kept his right ear against my shoulder. He never looked up, despite our occasional encouragement. The rest of us enjoyed the show.

When the fireworks show ended, nobody scrambled to their feet in a desperate attempt to get out of there before the traffic (pedestrian and vehicular alike) swelled. The crowd offered an enthusiastic applause, sat there for an appreciative moment, and then casually gathered their things and calmly walked to their cars. Melanie pointed this out to me, and I find the behavior quite telling. I love the easygoing nature of a smaller city. But despite the calmness, I was worried about getting away from the lake. Our van could not have been more immersed in the festivities than it was, and I assumed it would take a while for us to get out of there. But it didn’t. I didn’t even have to wait to pull onto the road. Once on the road, we had to stop immediately. We waited for a few minutes before I decided to flip a U and go the other direction. Once I did that, there was no stopping whatsoever, other than for stop signs and traffic lights. There was no slow down at all. We were home ten minutes later. That we could attend a fireworks show, have an optimal parking spot and a premier spot of land on which to sit, and be home within 20 minutes of the show ending is absolutely staggering in my mind. God bless America! Or at least Tallahassee!

And now for some photos:

I’m including this photo, just so you can see how sweaty Creegan’s head is. The humidity was killer.

Happy birthday, America!!

The Path

In February, I wrote that I was going to start walking regularly as a form of exercise. I didn’t end up being the most diligent about it, and sometimes I would go several days in a row without going on walks for the purpose of exercising. Over the last couple of weeks, however, I’ve been quite diligent about it again. Maybe just maybe it has something to do with Melanie’s recent discovery of a walking / jogging / running / biking / what-have-you trail located almost right behind where we live. It’s funny that it took us so long to discover it, especially when we drive by the entrance to it quite regularly. But as far as walking goes, it’s not in the direction that I had normally been walking, so I never stumbled upon it myself. Melanie was a bit more explorative in her walking, so she found it. And it’s lovely.

I’ll share some pictures momentarily, but I’ll say that the first thing I love about the trail is just how shady it is. The trail runs through lots of trees, so it’s peaceful and serene, quite unlike the roadside sidewalk I was accustomed to walking on. And of course it’s much cooler, since the trees do a decent job of blocking out the sunlight, especially if you go early in the morning. It’s a whole different experience, and I’m loving it. The only downside is that, despite the trail’s being right behind where we live, you have to go a semi-roundabout way to get to it. So, if you walk for 30 minutes, most of that time is not on the trail itself. And, when you return, you have to go up a somewhat steep hill. This is the case no matter where you walk, but when I use this path, the steep part of my walk comes nearer to the end and is steeper than what I had dealt with before (simply because the steepness isn’t so spread out). That makes for a slightly grueling end to the walk, especially in this humidity. (Also, it’s already been in the mid- and upper-90s here for a couple of weeks. Mornings are better, but not nearly as cool as you’d hope.)

I decided to take our camera with me on my walk one morning, and of course it ended up being a grayer morning than usual. A lot of the photos I took turned out fairly blurry. Oh well. I’ll share what I can, and hopefully you’ll get an idea of the beauty that I enjoy. I’ve said it before, but if you didn’t feel the heat and humidity in the air, you could look around certain parts of Tallahassee and fool yourself into believing you’re in Washington state. That is something I’m grateful for almost every single day.

And now, the photos:

Walking downhill toward the path, which is in the cluster of trees just beyond the white building. You can see that there are lots of trees. I’m happy to live somewhere that looks like this.

In the spring, many trees here sprout what look like pink flowers. From a distance, the “petals” look like normal, broad, flat petals, but …

… up close, you realize that the “petals” are thin and grassy. I don’t know what these things are. When it rains, they get all over your car, all wet and balled up like Mother Nature hacked a hairball. But I think they’re pretty.

The path begins.

The path continues. Notice the pink flowers in the trees on both the left and the right. (You have to squint to see them, or just click on the pic and make it larger.)

This is a long-distance photo of two rabbits further ahead on the trail. I saw another rabbit later on, and I’ve encountered them on this trail before.

Wet and green – my idea of perfection. (I think Miss Piggy once said that about Kermit the Frog.)

The end of the trail, or the beginning of the return.

I saved this picture for last because when I saw these flowers, I was absolutely blown away. They look like something out of a science fiction movie, like little exploding stars. I wonder if they are hallucinogenic if you eat them. All hallucinogenic plants should look like this, don’t you think?

Thanks for walking with me! Now go home!

Potpourri No. 30

Random tidbits o’ life:

Ah, Summer
It’s February in Florida, which means the first signs of summer are upon us. As in years past, the shortest month in the calendar has given rise to the first sunbathers by the pool. Lately, I myself have been wearing t-shirts and shorts and driving with the A/C on. It’s uncomfortable not to, which sucks considering we’ve got about six months of steadily increasing temperatures to look forward to. Currently, afternoon temperatures have been reaching into the high 70’s, and tomorrow it’s supposed to top out at 79 degrees. Crazy!

So What Else is New?
Guess who’s sick? Trick question! The real question, of course and as always, is who’s the sickest? That’s a tough one right now. Melanie’s just starting to get over something terrible, and I think I might just be descending into it. In a family of five, it seems impossible to fully exorcise illness from the home, which sucks a donkey. I somehow thought I might scrape by this round with barely a scratch—or scratchy throat, I should say. My throat had been sore and swollen for a few days, but nothing major. It seemed to be getting better, but last night, my throat suddenly feels like it’s coated in sand. It’s not sore again, but it’s obnoxious and I’m occasionally seized with coughing fits that leave me seeing stars and tasting blood. I assume it’s salt and not blood, but I always think of blood when I’m hacking my lungs out and get that distinct flavor in my mouth. It would have to be snot, methinks. Or, maybe I’ve just got tuberculosis! LOL!

Taking Teaching to a Whole New Level
Some exciting (dreadful?) news this week: I’ve been given a teaching position for the latter part of the summer semester. That means I’ll have full responsibility of a class, the first time in several years that this has been the case. During my time at Georgia State, I taught seven classes completely on my own. But my teaching gig this summer will be quite different. First of all, I’ll have as much control over the course as a genuine professor would. At GSU, we grad students didn’t have much say over anything other than what work-appropriate clothes we wore while we taught. The syllabus, textbook, lesson schedule, exams, etc., were all selected and written for us. Very little was left up to us. At FSU, I’ll be calling the shots. That’s cool, but it’s also a lot more responsibility and work on my part, so I’m sure it will be stressful. But, funny enough, I think I’ll have a TA of my own to help me out. Wow, I’m growing up! But anyway, another huge difference between my time at GSU and my upcoming teaching gig is that I’ve now been assigned to teach a 3000-level class. A symbolic logic class, no less. Reductio ad absurdum! Symbolic logic is not my specialty, by any means, but I guess that’s beside the point as far as the department is concerned. It’s assumed that I know the material at this stage of the game, and of course, I do. I’ve taken symbolic logic twice, after all. (“I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy!”) I took it at the U of U even though I didn’t have to, and then I had to take it as part of my master’s program at GSU. I always kind of liked the subject and did exceptionally well with it, but it’s also one of the most intimidating subjects I’ve ever studied. It can easily confuse people, and I’m not excluded from that. I often have to think through matters of symbolic logic very slowly, and I can’t help wondering how inept I might sometimes appear to my students this summer. But that’s OK. It should be quite an experience teaching the class. An overwhelming but interesting and good experience.

It’s Official—I’m a Twit
Yup, I’ve made a Twitter account. Why? Why ask why? No reason, really. I decided to follow a bunch of celebrities just for the heck of it, and also because most of them excel at being witty in 140-characters or fewer. (Bam! Bet you thought I’d say “less”!) Probably everything I put on Twitter I’ll also put as a status update on Facebook, but in my experience, Facebook status updates are much easier to miss. One reason is the fact that Facebook friendships are practically meaningless, so people have way more Facebook friends than they could ever keep up with. Another reason is that status updates on Facebook have to compete with updates about someone’s horse dying on Farmtown or with the results of someone's survey to determine what kind of legume best captures their personality. (You are a garbanzo bean, but your besties call you chick pea!) On Twitter, depending on whom you follow, you’re not getting so much excess baggage and fluff. That’s nice … even if it is pointless.

Two-Line Poetry
While walking home from the bus stop the other day, I thought maybe I should start writing simple, two-line poems. It would give me a chance to be more artsy without demanding too much of my time. And, as we’ve all learned from haikus, short and simple can be truly beautiful, just like Dudley Moore. So, anyway, I came up with these gems. Hope you enjoy them!

TURTLE SOUP
Suntan while you can, little turtle
For tonight, it’s turtle soup

SILENT REJECTION
I thought she’d never ask
Turns out I was right

The end!