Holy Annoying Audience, Batman!

Going to the movies always has its potential problems. One of the most common difficulties is getting a good seat. But even if you get a good seat, those sitting near you can wreak havoc on your movie-going experience. Personally, I’m a stickler for getting to the theater early and ensuring I have as much control over the situation as possible. But sometimes there’s just no escaping almost every problem imaginable, as an impromptu Saturday night viewing of Batman Begins quickly proved.

I’ve always pitied those who arrive at the theater just before the movie is about to begin. Being the sympathetic person I am, I find no comfort in the fact that these people have no one to blame but themselves. I still feel bad as, tucked snuggly into my near-perfect seat and already munching away on my popcorn, I watch some cute couple—whether young and sweet and holding hands, or old and adorably wrinkled, it doesn’t make any difference—staring hopelessly and somewhat disillusioned into an unrelenting sea of fanny-packed seats. I always think these people must not go to the movies very often or they would have known better than to arrive at this late moment. But that only makes it worse, because that means this must be a special occasion for them, and now it’s getting ruined. I quickly bury my head into my popcorn, pretend everyone’s happy, and wait for the lights to dim (wretched man that I am, longing for darkness to shelter these people from my view though I know it makes it all the more difficult for them!)

But Saturday I found myself arriving at the movie just minutes before showtime, a particularly bad move considering it was the movie’s first weekend in theaters and an expected blockbuster hit. As it was, my group ended up sitting just three rows from the screen, anything but ideal in this giganto-screen day-and-age. But this was a risk knowingly taken. What I didn’t count on was the odd behavior of those surrounding me. In the very front row was a younger couple with an almost-newborn baby. Did I mention this is an action-heavy flick? And a relatively dark one to boot? What are these people thinking!? Okay, so maybe not everyone can get a babysitter. Maybe people who can’t get babysitters shouldn’t have to stay at home every single week of their lives. But let’s think just a little bit about our baby’s eardrums, shall we? The respective Mom and Dad took turns holding the baby outside the theater during the entire movie. That kind of makes both seeing the movie and going on a date rather pointless, don’t you think? But I don’t know that this was their plan because they waited for Junior to start crying before they left the first time. Were they surprised, I wonder?

Secondly, I was fortunate enough to sit on the end of the row, but the people directly to the right of my party were those enthusiasts who laugh, sigh, and ooh and aah over every cinematic moment. And if that weren’t enough, the man sitting directly behind me began snoring shortly into the film! Yes, literally snoring! Not loud, I-feel-bad-for-his-wife-at-night snoring, but most certainly audible snoring. And this snoring continued off-and-on through a significant portion of the film.

Needless to say, it wasn’t the most ideal experience. There were other things I could whine about, but most didn’t affect me too much (getting the wrong drinks at the concession stand, the no-coverage “nice-to-meet-ya” urinals, the stuffy heat of the theater, etc.). At least the movie itself was very enjoyable. It’s one of the better superhero movies I’ve ever seen, shunning caricature and going for realism, emphasizing drama rather than tantalization. My biggest complaint would be the muddled quality of the action scenes, which were largely incoherent. Still, director/co-writer Christopher Nolan (who brought us the unforgettable film, Memento) keeps things very well-balanced between comedy, drama, and action, and between characterization and spectacle. I highly recommend it. Just get to the theater early.