I have a confession to make. I’m not into sports. Occasionally, I like going to sporting events, but only as a social event or for nostalgia’s sake, such as summertime baseball games. I would never consider it worth my time and effort to go to a game that wasn’t easily accessible. Even if someone gave me free Super Bowl tickets, and for some reason I couldn’t sell them, I wouldn’t make an overwhelming effort to go. I wouldn’t pay to travel for it, and I wouldn’t really want to deal with getting to the stadium, which would surely be a horrific project in-and-of itself. I’m not saying I wouldn’t go if I could easily get there. And, truth be known, in this unlikely instance I probably would make an effort, only because it would be such an incredibly rare opportunity that I’d feel obligated to go. But I wouldn’t be all that excited for it outside of the bragging rights. In fact, if I won lifetime Super Bowl tickets I’d be even less excited, given that I wouldn’t really want to bother going more than once and the bragging rights would quickly wear off.
But the real point of this post is this: the college football season is kicking off tonight, and it’s already a pain. Kickoff is set for 6pm, which means a good square mile around the campus is congested by 4pm. For someone attempting to drive their fiancée to a 4:30 class, this can be very frustrating. Roads get closed down, lanes get backed up, parking spots disappear which then escalates the problem. Even a drive-by drop-off becomes horribly inconvenient. Yeah, yeah, I know the school makes more off of football than it does tuition, but do we really feel zero obligation to help a student actually be able to get to class? I dread going back to pick my fiancée up.
I must admit, however, that the football game did provide me some baffling amusement. Posted outside the stadium parking lot, which is reserved for students during non-event hours, was a sign that read:
“No General Parking Permits Only.”
Hmmm. The way I see it, you should be pretty safe parking there no matter what. No one in their right mind can claim this statement is anything other than ambiguous. I don’t see how “no” and “only” are supposed to work together in this sentence. Unless they’re saying that only general parking permits are restricted. Like if a sign said, “No Dogs Only,” it could mean that any other animal was permitted. Right? Somehow I don’t think this is what the stadium is getting at, but who knows. Not I, said the pig.
Funny sign find! This seems to happen a lot. I guess signmakers must charge extra for punctuation or something. (I'm assuming you know that there's an implied punctuation mark of some sort after "parking" and that you are claiming ignorance for the sake of humor. If not... just pretend you were. That's what I do.). ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't think he is claiming ignorance for the sake of humor. I love football and baseball and being at a stadium. But I too hate the crowds and inconvenience. I'd rather give up what I love than deal with so much of what I hate. And if they make more money off the football team, why did my tuition cost so darn much!?
ReplyDeleteThose are actually interesting questions. What's worth being inconvenienced for? Why do we feel an obligation and desire bragging rights? And how much do signmakers charge for punctuation!? (I think it's hard to make small commas and periods on the kind of signs that have each letter posted- like at car washes, schools, etc).