The only thing I like about working Sundays is being downtown when the city is so quiet. Today the city is not only empty, but grey and drizzly as well. It's beautiful. Being here is like walking through an undisturbed postcard tucked snuggly into the rotating display rack of some souvenir shop. I don't know if you can get this experience anywhere else -- Salt Lake City might be the only "major" (I use the term lightly) city to more-or-less close on Sundays. Tourists are probably complaining about the lack of urbanimation, but I'm enjoying myself. The skyscape is picturesque and soothing. I'm feeling very content.
About a year ago, JoAnna, Melanie, and I went to Seattle. Ever since I first visited the Emerald City twelve years ago, I have dreamed of living there. I love the green, I love the rain, I love being near the water. But it was different this time. More real, I guess. Too real. Busy and dingy. Not what I'd call extremely appealing. And it made me question if I'm really cut out for such a large city. I used to think it would be a good experience to live somewhere this big, at least for a year or two. But I wonder just how "at home" I can really feel in such a large place. The trip made me realize how much I like Salt Lake City, less-than-desirable climate aside. I like being in a city where I can go from one side of town to the other in 20 minutes. I like being able to go downtown without planning two extra hours for traffic and twenty extra dollars for parking. But my love affair with the pacific northwest remains, and I still find myself dreaming of living somewhere in that general area. I think as long as I'm on the outskirts of a big city -- where you have everything you need but aren't forced into urban submission -- I'll be happy. When it comes down to it, it's not going to be that up to me anyway. It will all depend on what graduate school I can get into and, eventually, where I can find a job. The most comforting thing is knowing I won't be doing it alone. Two years from now, my whole life will be vastly different. It's exciting and intriguing to guess where I'll end up. I'm sure it will be fine. It's always worse to be stuck in the waiting room...
As I left for church Sunday morning, I really wanted to call my brother Ben to make sure he was enjoying such a perfect Ben morning.
ReplyDeleteI think of our trip to Seattle often and have been feeling very melancholy for the place lately. Even though I don't have the strong emotions I know he does. Somehow, when we were there, life had possibilities. I was away from reality and no one knew who I was or cared what I did and that was so freeing!
So, to my mother, why does reality have to get in the way? Why can't we "fall in love?" (well, I'm afraid of heights just because I'm afraid of falling to my death!) Why do we end up "in a relationship?" Why do we "do it" instead of "make (create) it?" Is it just life? Or can we, somehow, if we just become keen enough, keep the art and the beauty and magic? Khrys, you're good at that! Tell us! Remind us! And don't grow out of it!
This is an old post, so maybe you won't read a new comment, but lately I've been sad about this stuff. I feel like everyone has been challenging my good old fashioned idealism and naiveite, or however you spell it. Grow up, get real, think about it. I remember when I used to get so excited over fountains and had such a romantic mind. Maybe I still do, but it's being stolen I think. I want to scream & fly. It gives me wanderlust for Seattle or Scottsdale or Chicago or anywhere really bad. A city full of glittering dreams, just ready to pick out and try o for size...
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