Melanie and I have now lived in Atlanta for almost three months (is that all?). The feeling of being enamored of our new apartment is gradually beginning to subside, especially as our upstairs neighbors suddenly find themselves very enamored of each other. What’s odd is that we’re fairly certain it’s the neighbors we’ve always had, yet their romantic habits have changed dramatically in just the past two or three weeks. It’s been less than subtle, which makes me wonder why, in my approximate four years of living in apartments, I’ve never heard such outpourings of love from an upstairs or next-door neighbor before. It can’t be a thinness of the walls or ceilings, for (overall) I’ve heard less of my neighbors here than anywhere I’ve lived previous. I guess my current neighbors are just a little more enthusiastic about their relationship. Or a lot more energetic. Or both.
The reason we’re so certain it’s the same neighbors we’ve had all along is that we’ve heard their affections before. Only once or twice, with weeks passing in between the occasions, but those past performances bore a strikingly similar cadence to the one we now know by heart. In fact, these passionate trysts have turned into a nightly ritual, occurring up to three times in one 24-hour period, anytime between 8 p.m. and sunrise. Recently, I even woke up around 4 a.m. and was surprised that I hadn’t heard them at all during the night. I turned to Melanie, who gave up sleeping altogether about four months ago, and said that, if we didn’t hear something within the next hour, I’d have to go upstairs and make sure they were okay. About 45 minutes later, we were relieved to hear that our upstairs neighbors were as twitterpated as ever.
Initially rather disturbed and annoyed, I’ve come to accept their romantic romps, much like you’d get used to the rumbles of a passing train car if you lived near the tracks. The episodes are relatively brief; I’m fairly certain we’ve only been privy to the last act or two of their amorous play. Still, the grand finale is quite a showstopper, something that would definitely threaten a deep sleep. Thankfully that lasts only about 30 seconds, so the total sleep lost remains fairly minimal. With these neighbors having so graciously opened up to us, I now feel obligated to take the next step, to go upstairs and meet them in person. I’m just afraid they’ll want Melanie and me to make something quite different than cookies as a way of introducing ourselves. Unfortunately, I’m not one to show off, which means Melanie and I will just have to remain our anti-social selves. Oh, and we’ll also need to buy some earplugs, just in case we do want a full night’s sleep sometime in the near future...
I, for one, am very happy that this couple has rekindled their fondness for each other. I was worried.
ReplyDeleteBennyK, you are hillarious. I'm so glad you post so that we can all have a bit more sunshine in our day.
P.S. I was going to buy you guys a matching set of earplugs for Christmas! Isn't that a funny coincidence!
I agree with the previous two posts, that is a hilarious story.
ReplyDeleteJust to warn you- my aunt and uncle had a similar experience as yours when my uncle was attending law school. Every night, a couple of times a night they heard the neighbors. My uncle started to tell my aunt the they should be doing it as much as the neighbors. They met the neighbors a couple of days later, it was two guys. Not what my uncle was imagining.
Wonderful when two people love each other so much..Thankfully I have never been privy to such neighbors, but I have known those who have. In fact, my friend looked up the couples phone number and whenever the "affections" of the neighbors were a little too loud he would call and let the phone ring, until the noise stopped, then hang up the phone. Alas the days before caller ID...
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