My Wife

Although Valentine’s Day is just behind us, I thought I should celebrate my wife. For many, many reasons, Melanie is absolutely my perfect mate. When I met her several years ago, I had been wondering if the ideal woman really could exist. I wasn’t 100% sure what I was looking for, but I knew nobody fit the bill. Nobody even came close. If everyone was so far off-the-mark, I wondered, why should I ever expect to meet my soulmate? Then I met Melanie.

It would be easy to recite the ever-familiar list of qualities that everyone seems to look for in a partner and bestow them upon my wife. It would be honest and it would be accurate. She’s funny, she’s intelligent, she’s sensitive, she’s a looker, etc. etc. But that would be a boring post. As such I will instead focus on her more unique attributes.

1. Her Priorities Are Straight
Melanie is all about family, particularly the two of us. I have no doubt that I am her #1 (and hopefully she knows she is mine). I know that no matter what else we do in life, where we end up living, and so on, we’ll always come first to each other. I don’t have to worry about my goals and her goals ripping us apart in any way, because we are each other’s topmost goal. But even aside from our partnership, Melanie’s ambitions always focus on the meaningful and long-term, never on the superficial or quick road to gratification. She loves family, friends, children, spirituality, and knowledge. She’d never consider the pursuit of these to be a hindrance to her “self-fulfillment.” On the contrary, she couldn’t imagine a more worthwhile way to invest her time and energy.

2. She Doesn’t Bore Me – Ever!
I’ve honestly never known a couple that didn’t get tired of each other, at least occasionally. I’m not talking about having a fight and needing time to calm down, I’m talking about simply getting on each other’s nerves because you’re “always” together. I’ve known Melanie for several years now, I’m around her all the time, and I don’t ever get sick of her. Conversation is never difficult or awkward. No matter how long we’ve been around each other, we’ve got something to say to each other and we’re eager to hear it. And when I’m not around her, I always look forward to being around her again. She is genuinely my best friend.

3. She is Not “Girly”
Makeup and shopping do not even begin to register on Melanie’s radar of importance. As such, I am never subjected to hours upon hours of combing the malls or visiting department stores, we don’t have to set a wardrobe allowance to ensure our financial situation remains stable, and I don’t have to wait seven hours for her to get ready to go somewhere! How much luckier could I be? Yet despite her great disinterest in these things, Melanie remains beautiful. She does not attempt to represent the counterculture by dressing “crazy” or by intentionally being a slob. She just doesn’t fall prey to the notion that a woman must adorn herself in a wide array of chemicals and fabrics before she is presentable to the world. All I can say is thank goodness! (P.S. She'll kill the spiders!)

4. She Appreciates Things
I don’t just mean she’s grateful—she really notices (and enjoys noticing) details. One of the first things I found enchanting about Melanie is that she never failed to point out a gorgeous sky. She’s aware of her surroundings and finds the good in them. Intellectually, she’s also very observant. We have great conversations because she is always looking deeply at situations and considering the underlying layers and meanings that can be found therein. Musically, she gets excited by the nearly imperceptible nuances that make a great song even better. She also appreciates other people. Meet her once and tell her about your second cousin’s best friend’s landlord’s daughter having surgery in a week, and she’ll ask you how it went when she runs into you again three years later. She’ll even remember the girl’s name (as well as everybody else’s)!

5. She is the Perfect Blend of Extrovert/Introvert
Unlike many people I have met, Melanie radiates a cool confidence. On the other hand, I know she is shy and a bit self-conscious. I find this very endearing. She manages to convey a calm, collected, and sure-of-herself demeanor, yet she never appears arrogant, cocky, or anything other than humble and sincere. She is not loud and doesn’t demand attention, yet she is always poised and professional when a situation requires it. When the situation is more casual, she can talk to strangers with the greatest of ease and ensures they feel completely comfortable. That my wife contributes to the atmosphere of a social gathering without dominating it is truly a charm.

I could go on and on, but these are just some of the things I love most about the woman I married. Reading a brief summary of her best attributes won’t do her justice of course, and I realize this. Still, maybe you’ll begin to see why I’m head over heels in love with her.

Happy belated Valentine’s Day everyone!