Music to My Ears

Melanie has made a grave mistake.

The other day I was telling my wonderful wife how, on a rough average, I own a CD for every 21 days that I’ve lived. I jokingly said that this is a trend I need to continue. In response, she told me that, as soon as I listen to all of the CDs I already own but have never opened, I can start buying a new CD every three weeks.

Big, big mistake.

I have spent the last half week or so listening to CDs fairly constantly, and what a great deal of fun it’s been. Some of these CDs I’ve owned for years and have never taken them out of their plastic. That may sound odd, but CDs are a weakness of mine. Then again, it’s not as if I purchased these CDs all willy-nilly like. They weren’t bought on impulse. Most of them are albums I’ve already heard, ones I know I want to own, and I just haven’t gotten around to listening to them since they rightfully became a part of my personal property. Some I initially checked out from my local library, put them on my computer so I could conveniently listen to them, and then decided they were good enough to keep. So I bought them but left the original copied version on my hard drive. Because I can listen to these albums at any time without having to open anything (other than Windows Media Player), it only makes sense that the CDs themselves have been collecting dust ever since. Only a handful of these unopened CDs have been albums I’ve never heard whatsoever, and yet these are all by artists I know and trust. Those have been the fun discoveries of the week, seeing as how the majority of songs on those albums are completely new to me. Musicians with albums falling into this latter category include Edie Brickell, Collective Soul, Stone Temple Pilots, and Weezer. What fun!

Melanie admitted she’s surprised I’ve dived into this challenge as aggressively as I have. Initially, even as she witnessed my determination, she was always quick to remind me that she’s “not worried in the slightest.” She said she expects it to take me up to five years to get through all of them. But I think she’s finally beginning to worry. And rightfully so. We don’t have money to spend on such frivolities as CDs. But it’s too good an offer to pass up, so I have to pursue it. When we end up homeless because I insist on keeping Melanie to her word, I’ll definitely have to get one of those shopping carts that are so in vogue with vagabonds these days. I’ll beam with pride as I push my cart full of 600 CDs about town, mocking my fellow transients and their clichéd carts full of pop cans. Sure, I won’t have anything to listen to my myriad CDs on, but in that case, I’ll be getting as much use out of them then as I am now. Only my collection will steadily be growing—once every three weeks…