Potpourri

• Wallace (my car) has more-than-less been sold. Thank you, adoptive parents!
  
• Melanie has strep throat. Yikes!
  
• I actually got an A- on my last Greek exam! Hooray!
  
• The new Domino's Pizza® product, the Doublemelt Pizza™, sucks. It tastes like a crappy version of those cheez-n-crackers snack packs. I actually like those, but it is not good for pizza. This really is that bad.
• My latest mental fixation is the subject of free will. Hmmm.... Feel free (ha ha ha) to discuss it here, if you'd like.
  

Thank you, and please come again soon.

Listening to Pins Drop

I don't really have much to say, but it's been two weeks since my last post and I thought I should at least post something. Actually, I do have thoughts here and there that I think about sharing -- quotes from articles I'm reading and so on -- but I just don't take the time to post them. Blogging just isn't my priority right now, as I think most people are aware.

I know it's getting really old to hear me say this, but man am I glad I'm not working. I don't feel any less busy, so I can't imagine trying to fit a job into my schedule. School is still kicking my butt. I go back and forth between feeling decent and feeling like a complete failure just waiting to be discovered. Mostly it's the Greek crap. "Discouragement" is not an exaggerated word -- the courage to face Greek has seriously been wiped right out of me. I never take it too seriously, but I've wondered if I should even bother continuing with it. I feel so out of whack usually. But I'm sick of listening to myself say this, so I'll shutup now.

Okay, just to lighten the mood, I will point out that as of next Tuesday (Nov. 16th), the Amazing Race is back on TV! Yeah, yeah, nobody in my family gives much of a crap about reality TV, but this is a really fun one. And in case anyone cares, this season features a team of sisters from Pleasant Grove. Not that that makes it worth watching, but still. It's a fast-paced show with lots of action. It is not like Survivor, which seems more-or-less identical from season to season and episode to episode. (Or at least it was the last time I watched it, which has been a while). I urge you all to give it a try.

The Genius in the Dunce Cap

Here it is -- the first weekday I normally would have worked but now do not. How does it feel? Pretty good. Really, the time is almost up that I would have been working anyway. But at least I got to sleep in this morning. And stay up late last night, for that matter. That's a huge perk, I think. I think I'll try it again tonight. In fact, now that I think about it, I know I will. Ha ha ha ha ha!

So, on my last posting, I had just taken my second Greek test of the semester. I felt way better about it and was excited to get the results. Well, I got 1% better on it than my last test. Yippee-freaking-skippy. This really bums me out. I don't know if its Thucydides or my Greek teacher, but one of them is having a fun time kicking my butt. I think it's a little of both, actually. I have to admit that, if I had another teacher, I would probably be doing better. But maybe, in a more-optimistic-than-I-feel-at-the-moment kind of way, this is better for me. No free passes on this merry-go-round. I guess I should be happy. What good does it do not to be pushed beyond my comfort zone, right? Still, it's been a disappointing journey this semester.

In good news, I also got back my first paper from my senior seminar in philosophy. I felt great about the paper before I handed it in, and the results fit accordingly. That's right, I got an A. So there is one perk. Makes me feel a bit better about the rest of it. And more hopeful for success in the future. I have to present in that class this coming Monday. That's kind of freaky. But it'll pass. I manage to keep fooling myself into believing the real stress of the semester is almost over -- just get through Monday and the worst is behind you, just get through Friday and the worst is behind you, just get through next Wednesday and the worst is behind you, and so on. But at least I've been able to cope by doing this. Right now, my goal is Monday at 5:00pm. At that point, the worst will be behind me. At least for another week.

It's All About Timing

Perhaps I am jumping the gun to say this, but I think it was perfect timing quitting my job. This week has been very emotionally and mentally grueling. I have been getting the lowest grades of my college career, and it has made me feel sorry for myself. Not that I'm doing poorly. It's just been rough. And I have a few projects coming up that I simply can't imagine trying to do if my schedule wasn't changing. Again, nothing major, but time consuming nonetheless. Needless to say, it didn't take long to feel good about my decision to leave work. Aside from the fact that everybody is (or at least acts) very supportive about it, I have felt increasing stress that only makes me wish I had quit sooner. Of course, I don't really regret the delay now that the delay is almost over, but you get my point. It's good to be happy about this whole thing.

Speaking of which, as I write this, I have less than 10 working hours left at my job. It still seems a little scary, and I'm not sure if this anxiety will increase or decrease over the next week or so. I have been quite happy knowing the end is near, but now that it's right in front of me, it's a little more intimidating. I guess, as can be expected with anything, there are plusses and minuses. I have to remember how important these plusses are in the long run, otherwise the minuses might really get to me. (taking a deep breath...)

In good news, I took my second Greek test just yesterday and I feel like it went better than the first one. I'll keep you posted as to whether that's true or not. And I took a Latin midterm on Monday that I'm pretty sure I aced. I should know within a few hours on that one. So those things should excite me, I guess. Or at least act to counterbalance the depression I feel in regard to other classes and grades I've been receiving lately. Am I just a big, fat whiner? Sometimes I think so. It'll be interesting to see how I feel about life and college a month from now. Stay tuned.

Good Will Hunting

In The Question of God, a PBS program that contrasts C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud's views on religion, a panel discusses the idea of "loving thy neighbor as thyself." There seems to be a consensus among the theists that "loving your neighbor as yourself" is an act of free will. This perspective intrigues me. Certainly, our free will would be necessary to perform the acts associated with loving our neighbors as ourselves, but is the love itself truly an act of volition? I think this an interesting consideration.

Growing up, I always thought that being a good person, in terms of "obeying," was not that weighty of a requirement. It might be difficult to be perfect, but it certainly wasn't difficult in theory. Now I only wish it were that easy. Now I believe it is how we feel that matters more than how we act, although it may be difficult to have actions without feelings (and, perhaps even more so, vice versa). That is why the above discussion intrigues me. Sincerely loving your neighbor may naturally stem from persistently acting as though you love them, but can the love itself be willed? Please discuss.