Independence Trip, Part 1

Visiting Independence, Missouri was one of my top priorities when planning what to do during my time in Nauvoo. With time running out, I requested to have two consecutive days off in a row this week so that Melanie and I could take the kids on an overnight trip. We left on Tuesday morning with the following itinerary in mind: drive to the site of the Hawn’s Mill Massacre in Caldwell County, Missouri; proceed to Far West, Missouri; make our way to Liberty, Missouri and visit the Liberty Jail; and finally check into a hotel in Independence. That’s what we did, but not everything went exactly as planned. I’m not 100% sure we arrived at the official site of the Hawn’s Mill Massacre, in which an estimated 17 Mormons (including children) were killed by an unsympathetic Missouri mob. According to Google Maps we did, but we never saw the sign that supposedly marks the location of what was once Hawn’s Mill. (For the record, “Hawn’s” is much more commonly spelled “Haun’s,” but recent research has determined that the former is the correct spelling.) I kind of wish we hadn’t even tried, because I had no idea that it was such an unfinished road we’d have to take to get there. After driving several miles on loose rock, the road started to get muddy. At that point, it didn’t seem safe to continue, and I didn’t even have room to turn around. I literally had to back up quite a ways to get turned around and get out of there. While stopped, a brave Melanie hopped out and snapped some photos, much to Eddie’s dismay, as there were numerous large bugs flying all around our car. Even more brave, Creegan and Peter got out of the car to urinate on what might have been the historic site—a purely biological and not political act on their part.

The site of the Hawn's Mill Massacre ... probably, maybe.

Our muddy tire after we decided we better not venture any further.

Our next stop was Far West, Missouri, which is relatively close to Hawn’s Mill. Truth be told, I didn’t know much about Far West other than that it’s a famous Latter Day Saint church history site. Visiting Far West didn’t help to shed much light on the matter, as there isn’t much there. There isn’t a visitor’s center. There is a Community of Christ church, and the LDS Church owns some property that is set up as if it is the spot that a temple was planned to be built. I know the early Saints did plan to build a temple in Far West, but I don’t know if the spot that is now made to appear like the planned temple location actually is the planned temple location. Nothing explicitly says that, and I think something would say it if it were the exact location.

The Community of Christ Church at Far West.  Way to represent, CofC!

If you can't read it, the plaque says that the encased cornerstone was laid (note that it doesn't specify a date) "in representation of the lesser priesthood."  I made a Mormon Patriarchy joke by saying to Melanie, "And as a woman, you're even less than the lesser priesthood!"

I found the inclusion of a verse about tithing quite curious.  What does it have to do with Far West?  I'm not sure, but I suppose it's always a good time to remind people to keep the money coming.

Liberty Jail was a more substantial stop. The LDS Church has a visitor’s center at Liberty. Enclosed in their visitor’s center is a partially-standing fragment of the original Liberty Jail. It’s sort of a strange set up, but I had been there approximately 20 years ago and wasn’t taken by surprise. What did surprise me is just how hostile an environment it ended up being. I was truly disappointed by our visit. During our time there, at least two non-LDS religious traditions that trace themselves back to Joseph Smith were denigrated, by the sister missionary giving us the tour and the tourists alike. Knowing Mormon rhetoric as I do, I also became highly suspicious of some of the stories we were being told, which were a little too black-and-white and good vs. evil for my tastes. On top of that, there were things said that are just wildly, obviously false, or at least inconsistent with Mormonism’s own history. There were so many gems, I’m not sure where to begin. One thing the sister missionary said (and repeated in various ways numerous times during the tour) is that being in Liberty Jail was the greatest experience of Joseph Smith’s life. Why? Because of the revelations he received there. Now, I personally can think of myriad events in Joseph’s life that I think would outrank being in Liberty Jail, revelations notwithstanding. But no, according to this missionary, Liberty Jail was just the best! In fact, Joseph had a positive attitude about the whole thing. And it was easy for him to be positive about it, because he had faith in God! I will admit, there was something poignant about the experience for me. I had been listening to a podcast about people being excommunicated from the LDS Church just before we arrived at Liberty Jail, so it struck me as highly ironic (or whatever) when the sister missionary started talking about how Joseph exemplified Jesus by forgiving his jailers and not holding any animosity toward them. The virtues being extolled may be what the LDS Church preaches, but it isn’t what they practice in many cases, and that was striking to me. Meanwhile, there are quotes on the wall at Liberty Jail talking about the difference between righteous and unrighteous dominion, and how the priesthood should never be used to wield power over another individual but that all persons should be appealed to in ways that are gentle, meek, and loving and that can thereby persuade. So, with the contrast between excommunicating those who ask church leaders to pray over certain issues and the messages being shared at Liberty Jail about forgiveness, love, patience, and lack of judging fresh on my mind, imagine how I felt when just a moment later Melanie was all but scolded by the sister missionary because Melanie made a comment about not judging Sidney Rigdon too harshly. You see, the sister missionary talked about how Rigdon got out of Liberty Jail by denying Christ when the judge overseeing their case demanded such. Melanie correctly informed our tour group that Rigdon had mental health issues and suggested that we not judge him too harshly since we didn’t know his state of mind at the time. The sister missionary sounded irate when she responded to Melanie’s comment. She told us she knows what Sidney Rigdon said and she knows what Sidney Rigdon did. But apparently she does not. I felt very leery of her story, and Melanie researched it after our return to Nauvoo. The true story is quite unlike what the sister missionary reported. As it turns out, Rigdon was the only one arrested who felt prepared to defend himself rather than relying on a lawyer. When Rigdon addressed the court, he moved everyone to tears when he explained what he had been through. They released Rigdon, but Rigdon was so fearful for his own life because of the mobs that he remained at Liberty Jail 10 days longer than he needed to. Now, it’s true that Rigdon, in one of his bipolar low moments, said something about how even Jesus hadn’t suffered as much as he was suffering. But the sister missionary’s story is a grave abuse of history. As the sister missionary put it, and I’m not kidding, Rigdon wasn’t spiritually worthy of remaining in the jail with the Prophet Joseph. That’s why he wasn’t there. Can you say, “Egad”?

The fun doesn’t stop there. Some other comments from this sister missionary were quite telling. She said at one point that if even one person in your home doesn’t have a positive attitude, the Spirit literally cannot be there. It cannot, folks. How this squares with church history, where there was plenty of squabbling and fighting at times when Joseph would then receive revelation, I don’t know. How it squares with the Liberty Jail story itself, I don’t know. This will sound harsh, but I’ve had a recurring thought during my time here in Nauvoo (and its surrounding areas), and it’s that the LDS Church is the Disneyland of religions. Or maybe the Disney Channel. Something like that, anyway. It’s all so fabricated, superficial, and clichéd. It’s a fantasy world much of the time, with a shiny, happy veneer so long as everyone is playing the part they’re supposed to play. As long as you’re going along with it, it’s fine and dandy, and you’re treated like a prince or princess. But it’s skin deep, and once you start asking questions, you’ve broken the magic and you’re not welcomed or wanted. I don’t think all Mormons are this way, but as a whole, that’s the culture I see. Have you watched Disney Channel TV shows? They are all identical, with the same contrived scenarios, with everyone dressing so hip and cool and everyone being so funny and popular, etc. Once you expand your horizons, such things can make you gag and you realize how full of crap it all is. That’s LDS culture in my experience. Anyway, by the time we left Liberty Jail, Melanie was in tears after being berated by the sister missionary because, God forbid, Melanie issued a plea for compassion for someone known to suffer from mental illness who was going through an incredibly difficult circumstance. Melanie’s comment didn’t fit the Disney—er, I mean, LDS—narrative, and that was enough to turn Sister Whatever-Her-Name-Was into Cruella de Vil. Melanie had been apprehensive about going into Liberty Jail. I encouraged her to go. I felt like crap afterwards.

Joseph Smith, Hyrum Smith, Lyman Wight, Alexander McRae, and Caleb Baldwin, having the time of their lives according to the sister missionary.  I can just imagine Katrina & the Waves' "Walking on Sunshine" playing in the background.  Sidney Rigdon wasn't invited to the party because he was a dirty, rotten, evil sonofabitch (who also happened to be bipolar).

The day ended on a much better note. We arrived in Independence, found our hotel, got checked in, and decided we deserved a nice steak dinner. We took to Outback Steakhouse, had a good meal, then stopped for dessert (Diet Mountain Dew, that is) at QuikTrip, and then retired to the hotel. True, the ribeye steak I ordered, which I requested to be cooked medium, was well done and might not have been a ribeye. True, I didn’t send it back, which is my own fault. True, our exhausted kids tried my patience while we were at dinner. True, the QT Diet Dew wasn’t as good as I had hoped. True, when we went for a night swim at the hotel, it was the coldest pool water I can remember ever encountering, and the hot tub had a ring around the edge and a general filminess to it that made me question how sanitary it was. But despite these complaints, it was nice to be at our official destination and to be settling down for the night.

The next day would prove much better, but I will save that for a future post. For now, I’ll conclude with some photos from dinner and our post-dinner outing to QT, our favorite convenience store of all time.

A medium ribeye that is well done and quite possibly not a ribeye.

To be continued!

Tales of a Tour Guide, Part 11

Tuesday was an adventurous day for me as a tour guide. Okay, that’s probably exaggerating a bit. But there are a couple of things worth mentioning. There was some mild hubbub when LDS apostle Jeffrey R. Holland showed up for a tour, largely unexpectedly. I say “largely” because I guess the director here knew it would be happening sometime that day or the next, but it wasn’t a firmly scheduled thing. I myself never saw Elder Holland, though I greeted whatever assistant of Elder Holland’s came rushing into the visitor’s center acting somewhat flustered. He asked for the director of the site and said he had been trying to reach the director all day. The director was at that moment out on a tour, so I grabbed one of the other office personnel. This fellow had a hard time not chasing me around the building as I went to get someone who could help. He seemed really anxious and in a state of urgency. I still didn’t know what was going on. I have to laugh about what happened next. When he spoke to the woman in our office—a woman I’ll call Sheradon, just for the heck of it—she hadn’t a clue who this Elder Holland fellow was that the man kept rambling about. As Sheradon related the conversation to me afterward, it went something like this:

LDS Assistant: “Elder Holland is here, and he wants a tour right now!”
Sheradon: “Yes, lots of people come here wanting a tour.”
LDS Assistant: “But he wants a tour now. It’s Elder Holland!”
Sheradon: “That’s wonderful. Lots of people want a tour right away, but we’re very busy.”
LDS Assistant: “It’s Elder Holland! He’s here! Right now! He wants a tour right now!”
Sheradon: “Uh huh. And is he family to you?”

And around and around they went. Sheradon said the guy seemed like a rabbit who couldn’t stop hopping. Maybe it’s not funny to read it, and I probably didn’t do it justice. But it had me in stitches to imagine this LDS Assistant guy not getting anywhere with her. There’s so much hero worship when it comes to the LDS Church and its leaders, which is so incredibly unlike Community of Christ. I can just imagine how appalling and insane it was for this man to get no reaction out of dropping Elder Holland’s name time and time again. I told Sheradon she needn’t worry, that it’s probably good for them to get a taste of humility now and again. She said she didn’t think the word “humility” was in their vocabulary. Apparently, it’s not a wholly unusual thing for Mormon VIPs (by which I mean GAs) to show up unannounced and expect impromptu private tours. I asked if they ever pay for their tours, and they don’t. They’re just treated like royalty because that’s what they expect. Kind of crazy.

Tuesday was also an important day because I started being trained to be the lead guide. Being lead guide doesn’t change one’s routine all that much. If you’re assigned as the lead guide on a given day, you are responsible for determining the order in which the guides will rotate giving tours, and you are responsible for an extra couple of opening and closing duties (such as closing out the cash register at the end of the day). It’s not that big of a deal, but I think it says something that they have chosen to train me on it. There are a couple of guides who have been here longer than I have that haven’t been trained or asked to do this. I can’t help but wonder if they’re irritated that I’ll be doing it, but it wasn’t my decision. My first official day of being the lead guide will be tomorrow. I’ll also be the lead guide on Sunday and next Thursday.

On Wednesday, my family went to Springfield, Illinois to visit the Abraham Lincoln Museum. We’d heard from several people that it is an awesome museum, so despite it not being among my original plans for our time here in Nauvoo, I started wanting to go quite badly. I’m really glad we did. You can imagine how especially glad I’d be if someone I know in Nauvoo had an annual membership to the museum that allowed my entire family to get in for free by borrowing his membership card. I’m not saying that’s what happened, but … we’re very, very, very glad we went. The exhibits they have are all rather high-tech. Or, that is, they incorporate a lot of special effects. For example, there is a show called Ghosts of the Library, which features a live actor who talks about researching history. He is behind a pane of glass, in what appears to be a library. But as he discusses things, ghostly figures appear, or the library fades and a battlefield appears in its place, etc. It all looks real, like things are really appearing and disappearing before your eyes—3D locations, not just images on a movie screen or something. It’s very cool. Another show, called Lincoln’s Eyes, also utilizes special effects in a very cool way. Many of the exhibits remind me of something like Disneyland, with wax figures on display in darkened halls with audio recordings of what they might be saying, etc. Tears came to my eyes with some of the displays depicting slavery. The Lincoln Museum proved a more emotional experience for me than Nauvoo has been. It was really terrific. On our way out, we stopped in the gift shop and bought some very modest gifts. We then spent quite a while driving around, trying to find someplace to eat and feeling quite surprised that restaurants seemed difficult to come by. There must be restaurants in the city somewhere, right?!?! Seriously, it seemed very difficult to find anything. After aimlessly driving around for a decent chunk of time, we ended up eating at some Mexican joint not far from the museum. I was worried it would be mediocre. It wasn’t anything special, but it was better than I had expected. While the boys and I were temporarily in the restroom just before leaving, some homeless couple approached Melanie and humbly asked if they could eat our leftovers. Melanie let them. Melanie said they seemed thrilled by how much there was for them to eat. She wept as she told me about it. It’s so easy to forget how blessed we are.

The last couple of days, I have been back to my full-time tour-giving duties. It has been hot as Hell. Absolutely awful. We’re in the upper 90s, but the humidity is way intense and the heat index is regularly above 100 degrees. We hit 108 one day. It’s unbelievable. Fortunately, that deters the tourists a bit and sometimes we end up skipping our scheduled tour times because nobody is showing up to go on a guided walking tour in the 100+ degree heat. I only gave one tour on my own today. That’s never happened before. I went on one split tour, too, but even still, I’ve never done so little. I’m totally grateful, though, because it’s awful out there. Awful. Did I say it’s awful? It is.

And now for today’s “Fun Fact from Mormon History.” At the time the Word of Wisdom revelation was given to the Saints in Kirtland, Ohio, there was already in existence an organization called the Kirtland Temperance Society, which was opposed to alcohol consumption and the use of tobacco, and also encouraged that meat be eaten only rarely. When Emma Smith lodged her complaint against cleaning up after the men who chewed tobacco, she apparently expressed hope that a revelation might be received which forbade tobacco. One of the men joked that such a revelation should also forbid the drinking of coffee and tea, a kind of retaliatory jab at the preferred habits of women. Both parties received their wish.

Tales of a Nauvoo Tourist

The bulk of this post was written on Monday, July 13th. I didn’t have a chance to post it until today, July 14th. It should be read as though it’s July 13th, except for this part at the beginning that I have put in italics, because that wouldn’t make any damn sense.

Today was my second day off in a row. I spent a good chunk of it exploring Nauvoo as a tourist, rather than as a tour guide. This is really only my second time since arriving in Nauvoo to go sightseeing myself. I really enjoyed it. I knocked a lot of destinations off of my to-do list.

In the early part of the day, Melanie and the boys went sightseeing with me. They’ve already done much more sightseeing than I have, since they are often looking for something to do during the days. The boys don’t always handle historic sites very well, and I don’t blame them. It’s got to be painfully boring for them. I told them this morning that they would have to bear going to just three places. Originally, the Nauvoo Groves was one of our planned stops, but even early in the day, it was so damn muggy and hot. (Have you noticed my frequent use of mild swears lately? Must be something in the Nauvoo air making me want to cuss. The humidity, most likely.) The heat index was supposed to get up to 108° F today, and the intensity started early. We quickly changed our mind about doing anything that would require standing outside, so we ended up seeing the Wilford Woodruff Home, the Sarah Granger Kimball Home, and the Stoddard Tin Shop.

Here are the standout things about each site we visited this morning. At the Wilford Woodruff Home, I appreciated that the sister missionary seemed to adjust her script for our benefit once she learned we were with Community of Christ (which she learned very quickly). She was totally respectful, but seemed to tweak how she would phrase things. Of course, I can only assume she did, but it seemed obvious at times. When she spoke to our boys about Woodruff, she identified him as the “fourth President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,” rather than simply as “the prophet” or something. Right before she used the word “president,” she seemed to hesitate half a moment, and I think she consciously decided not to say “prophet.” Obviously, she views Woodruff as a prophet. And I don’t think she needs to deny her beliefs, but I don’t think that’s what she was doing. I think she was just meeting us where we’re at, and that effort was appreciated by me. It’s a stark contrast from most of the sites you visit, where they are immediately saying things that make it crystal clear they assume you are LDS. I know 90% or more of their guests probably are, but not only LDS people visit these sites. I think they should sometimes be a bit less presumptuous.

At the Sarah Granger Kimball Home, it stood out to me how much of the spiel was actually about her husband Hiram and not about her. Especially at first, Sarah’s life was told via Hiram rather than vice versa, which seems odd given that the home is named after her and not her husband. It was also funny to me how supposedly faith-promoting stories can sound kind of messed up once you’ve left the relevant religious tradition behind. It happened a couple of times today that a missionary would tell some story meant to demonstrate faithfulness but that struck me as bothersome. The first was at the Sarah Granger Kimball Home. Supposedly, Sarah once joked with her husband Hiram about how much their baby was worth. She asked if the baby was worth $1,000. Hiram reckoned so. Sarah then joked about how they either needed to sell the baby to the Church or keep the baby but pay the Church $500 in tithing. Hiram apparently tells Joseph Smith this, and Joseph laughs but then says, “Yeah, you really should give me $500.” And so they do. And they consider it tithing. On the increase that was their child, I guess. And this story was meant to inspire us, the tourists, to pay our tithing. Or something. I don’t know. It all sounds a bit wiggity-wack to me. But the best part of stopping at the Sarah Granger Kimball Home was watching a herd of cows in the field next door fighting over a puddle in which they all wanted to stand in order to cool off. You’ll see them in a photo below.

The Stoddard Tin Shop was a lot more interesting because the missionary guy who gave us the tour actually taught us how they did stuff. That was cool. The boys handled it a lot better, too, so they must have found it at least mildly intriguing. I appreciated that the missionary guy frankly admitted to me—albeit privately, after the rest of our tour group was gone—that Sylvester Stoddard had left the Church, presumably over the issue of polygamy. He could’ve just said Stoddard left the Church. Whenever it’s the LDS person volunteering information about polygamy, I’m at least somewhat impressed.

In front of the Sarah Granger Kimball Home.

After our morning jaunt, Melanie had a lunch date with some of the women she’s gotten to know here in Nauvoo (and Jenn, our friend from Utah that is also here in Nauvoo now). I had the kids, including a few that don’t belong to me. Things went fine and dandy in that department. When Melanie returned, I decided to head out again on my own. We still had kids to babysit, but Melanie didn’t seem to care about seeing more of the historical sites today, so I went solo. Granted, I love having my family in tow, but not having kids helped immensely. I saw tons of stuff within a relatively short period of time. My first stop was the Cultural Hall, which is in actuality the original Masonic temple for Nauvoo. The sign outside admits that the Freemasons used the building, but the LDS Church isn’t so brave as to call it the Masonic Hall, as would probably be more proper. Anyway, I really wanted to check it out, but I didn’t realize it is primarily just used to put on shows and other performances. There’s not much to do or see there otherwise. When I walked in, I could hear live music. A missionary ushered me to a bench, and I quickly understood that I had just been seated for a music performance by some of the Young Performing Missionaries. It was primarily a brass band, with some drums and clarinets. I suddenly felt trapped, unsure of just how stuck I really was. If I had known there was a concert going on and nothing else, I wouldn’t have entered the Cultural Hall in the first place. Now I found myself wondering how rude it would be to stand up in the middle of a brass band version of “How Great Thou Art” and leave. I heard four numbers before I mustered up the courage to bail between songs. The songs weren’t bad, with the exception of “How Great Thou Art,” which was actually the final song I heard. Someone was out of tune or something, and it often sounded a bit terrible. “There is Sunshine in My Soul Today” was much better. My favorite was the clarinet and flute version of “My Heavenly Father Loves Me” (the Primary song that starts out, “Whenever I hear the song of a bird…”). I love the sound of the clarinet, and I love that Primary song. It was a good rendition. Before each song was played, one of the missionaries would essentially bear his or her testimony about its message. The cadence and manner with which these youthful missionaries bear their testimonies is so distinct, and now being something of an outsider, these things just really leap out at me. Truly, LDS folk are a peculiar people. I don’t think they realize how much so. I didn’t, which is why I keep bringing this up in my blog posts. I’m not poking fun. I’m just fascinated. I also get so curious about the LDS mentality concerning “the Spirit.” LDS folk regularly say things that imply the Holy Ghost just hangs around places of historical significance, just chilling out or something. One of the sister missionaries said something about how strong the Spirit is in Nauvoo “because the Prophet really did walk these streets.” So, apparently, if Joseph Smith walked down a given road, there is now permanent Holy Ghost residue on the street that won’t go away. And now if you walk down the same road Joseph Smith walked down, you will inevitably feel the Spirit. Because it’s just there. Hanging out. For 200 years or so. It’s an interesting way of thinking.

Once I had escaped the Cultural Hall, I went about a block—maybe only half a block—south to a trio of sites that are right together, almost as one unit. I started off in the Nauvoo Print Shop, where I learned a bit about how they made newspapers. It really was a painstaking task. I also learned how many of our common expressions are tied to the printing business, such as “Mind your P’s and Q’s,” “Cut to the chase,” and I think another one or two that I can’t remember. I then went into John Taylor’s home. Taylor preceded Woodruff as President of the LDS Church. I know Taylor was one of the most adamant defenders of polygamy, so I found it curious when the sister missionary had me read a quote from Taylor about leaving Nauvoo and heading for the Utah Territory. The quote says something about leaving the United States and how the Saints would rather suffer than do wrong. In the context, knowing what I do, my only way of understanding the quote was to think that he was referring to polygamy. Part of the benefit of leaving the U.S. was that the Saints could openly practice polygamy (so they thought), which the U.S. government didn’t allow. I assume Taylor was saying that the Saints would willfully suffer before they would commit the wrong of abandoning polygamy. Now, this wasn’t the entirety of the quote she had me read, but I asked if that particular passage was a reference to polygamy because I wasn’t sure what else that part of the quote would have been referring to. The sister missionary didn’t act too flustered with my question, but she didn’t really seem to know how to answer it, either. She said something about how no matter where the Saints would’ve gone, someone would’ve found something to harass them about. I’m not sure how that answers my question, but at least she tried.

After Taylor’s home, I went to the Nauvoo Post Office. I walked in while a tour was already in progress, heard the last little bit of it, and then wasn’t offered to hear whatever I’d missed. It kept the visit short, which was fine by me.

My next destination was just around the corner: the Brigham Young Home. This was the destination that felt the most preachy to me. I think it really was more preachy and I wasn’t just biased, but admittedly I have a lot more qualms with Brigham. Every time the sister missionary bore her testimony about what a great man he was, I just had to grin and nod and hope she wasn’t going to ask me if I agree. The message the sister missionary shared was heavy on validating the view that Brigham really was the true successor to Joseph, a theme I feel creeps up somewhat regularly at other LDS-owned Nauvoo sites. Perhaps because non-LDS branches of the Latter Day Saint movement also trace their heritage to Nauvoo—with Nauvoo being the central spot at which the church splintered after Joseph Smith was killed—it may be that a primary goal of the LDS Church at the Nauvoo sites is to reaffirm their legitimacy as the rightful heirs of the “one and only true church.” I really think it is, because as I’ve mentioned before, so many of the spiels you hear at the LDS Nauvoo sites are actually about the post-Nauvoo period. You’ll see things on display that are all about the post-Nauvoo LDS Church leadership, like decorative plates with Brigham Young listed as the President of the Church, or photographs of The First Presidency from Utah in the late 1800s. This is stuff on display at the historic sites here, which really doesn’t make a lot of sense. Anyway, the sister missionary who guided me through the Brigham Young home talked about Brigham clearly being God’s chosen prophet because who else could lead a group of people across the plains? (Didn’t a lot of people go across the plains aside from the Mormons?) She said she knew Brigham was the true prophet because when the Saints left Nauvoo, they didn’t even know where they were going—they just left. (I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate, but how would it make Brigham a prophet, exactly? No matter where the Saints had settled, couldn’t she have said the same thing?) In one room, the sister missionary told me it was where the Quorum of the Twelve would often have their meetings. “Think of all the revelation that would’ve been received here,” she said. She then shuddered and added, “Wow, I get chills just saying that!” It makes you wonder what kind of revelation she’s imagining, because most LDS people believe in receiving personal revelation all the time. I’m sure she doesn’t get chills thinking about all of the revelation that is received in some random suburban home in Draper, Utah. Was the revelation received in Brigham Young’s house any more miraculous? Not necessarily. But I guess I’m being a jerk at this point, right? Okay, then. Let’s move on.

My final destination of the day was the Seventies Hall. The sister missionaries let me know that the Seventies were basically just missionaries themselves. One of the sisters explained that by the time of the exodus from Nauvoo, there was an astonishing 35 Quorums of the Seventy. I think this was supposed to be evidence of the impressive success of the Church. What this woman probably doesn’t know is that Brigham made almost every eligible man in Nauvoo into a Seventy after Joseph’s death because that put the majority of men in the Church under the jurisdiction of the Quorum of the Twelve, ensuring they were under Brigham’s control rather than the control of William Marks, whom several people (including Emma Smith) wanted to be Joseph Smith’s successor. Having 35 Quorums of the Seventy, in other words, was a political and strategic move on Brigham’s part by which he intended to maintain as much control over the splintering church as possible. That’s not very faith-promoting, really. (Don’t worry, I didn’t mention this to the sister missionary.) A cool thing about my visit to the Seventies Hall, however, was being able to rifle through their list of known Seventies from the Nauvoo period. I found an ancestor listed that I hadn’t even known lived in Nauvoo, nor did I know he had been a Seventy. The things your parents fail to teach you!

The Masonic Hall, referred to as the Cultural Hall.

The Nauvoo Post Office in the foreground, with the John Taylor Home directly behind it, and the Nauvoo Print Shop behind that.

Lots of revelation in this room at the Brigham Young Home.  Feel the chills?

Feeling iffy about Brigham Young.

Inside the Seventies Hall.

Outside the Seventies Hall.

On my way back home, I was thinking about taking photographs to try to show the close proximity of where I am temporarily living to all of the historic sites I give tours of on a daily basis. I realized photographs wouldn’t work nearly as well as a video, so I filmed a brief and spontaneous driving tour that I then uploaded to Facebook. I’m including it here as well. I had a Duran Duran CD playing as I was filming, and I couldn’t resist singing along, so consider that a bonus feature. Here is the video:



After dinner, I had a bit more fun exploring Nauvoo, this time with my family again by my side. I didn’t get any photos because our roaming was not pre-planned. However, we found ourselves at the Old Nauvoo Burial Grounds, a cemetery kind of in the middle of nowhere and rather obscured by thick trees. It was pretty cool, although I got a ton of mosquito bites while we were there. That and a stop at Casey’s for a donut was a nice finish to a really good day. I can’t wait for Wednesday, when the family and I plan to head for Springfield and become tourists yet again. Stay tuned…

A Nauvoo Weekend

I’ve had a very good weekend. I worked Saturday, but it was a rather adventurous day to work. The rain kept coming and going, and when it came, it was often very intense. We don’t stop giving tours when it rains, so long as people keep showing up and requesting them. This means there were times when I pretty much had to yell in order for my tour groups to hear me. I also had a few instances when the weather made me nervous. Usually, it was just because the thunder sounded so incredibly loud, but one time when I was guiding a group outside of the Mansion House, I could hear air sirens going off in the distance. I’ve been told before that if there are sirens going off, I’m supposed to head down into a cellar because it could mean there is a tornado coming. My fears were dampened (no pun intended) a bit by the fact that other people were still out and walking about, plus the sirens stopped almost immediately after I came out of the Mansion House, plus they sounded far enough away that I wasn’t sure they applied to the immediate area. I was later led to believe that the sirens were warning of flash floods in the city of Montrose, directly across the Mississippi River from Nauvoo. No need to panic after all.

When I got home from work, the drainage ditch in front of the Sidney Rigdon house (in which I’m staying) had turned into a sizable river of its own. Melanie and I both laughed when, a short while later, a trio of young children went swimming by, on their stomachs, in the ditch. Eddie, Peter, and Creegan wanted to join the fun and hurriedly put on their swimsuits, then took to the “river.” They had a great time splashing around in it before heading into the house and taking a bath. Imagine my dismay when I saw my boss this morning at work and he happened to say, “Don’t let your kids play in the rainwater, by the way. I saw some kids swimming around in it the other day. But it wasn’t just rainwater that they were swimming in.” Apparently, there is reason to believe sewage also comes up into these ditches when it rains heavily. Egad. Boy, am I glad Melanie made the boys take a bath immediately afterward!

Today was my day off from work. It was a very good day, overall. At church, we had a pancake breakfast in lieu of Sunday school. The food was great. There was a variety of syrups for the pancakes, very tasty breads and pastries, some yummy, cheesy scrambled eggs, delicious sausage, very good hash browns, etc. I even had chocolate milk to drink. The worship service went okay, but I have to admit, I very much look forward to getting back to my regular congregation in Salt Lake City. The people here are extremely nice, but something doesn’t click with me when it comes to the worship services out here. I think I’ll probably write more about this in a future blog post, so stay tuned.

After church, Melanie and I took the boys out to Keokuk to see the movie Minions. It was a really fun outing, although the movie itself was in my (and Melanie’s) opinion mediocre. We had originally considered going out to lunch after the movie, but we weren’t very hungry and it was so damn hot outside that simply walking to our car zapped us of any desire to be anywhere other than home. Since we were in Keokuk, however, we did stop at Family Video and pick up a few movies for the week. When we came back home, Melanie and I watched While We’re Young, which may be the first genuinely good movie we’ve watched during our time in Nauvoo. (I’ve seen quite a few in the last couple of weeks.) At that point, I felt desirous to go out to eat after all. And so, we loaded up and headed back to Keokuk. We ate dinner at Dr. Getwell’s. It was a good meal. We had a fried cheddar bites appetizer, then everyone sans Beegy got a burger. (Beegy got mac n’ cheese.) My burger was topped with ham, American cheese, and a fried egg. Melanie’s was topped with bacon, peanut butter, and jalapenos. Not our usual fare by any means, but we enjoyed ourselves.

And that’s that. It doesn’t sound like much now that I write it all down, but we’ve been having fun. Tomorrow is also a day off for me, and I’m thinking I may venture out to see more of the LDS sites here in Nauvoo. Wednesday will be yet another day off, and Melanie and I are trying to decide whether to head to Springfield or Lamoni, IA. We hope to see both places before heading home to Utah in a few weeks, and both are no more than a few hours away. Lamoni is home to Graceland University, which is to Community of Christ what Brigham Young University is to the LDS Church. Lamoni was also the headquarters of the RLDS Church for approximately 40 years. I’m not sure what all there is to do there, but I figure I should check it out while I’m so close. We’ll see what happens.

Tales of a Tour Guide, Part 10

Today was the first day that I felt genuinely irritated as a tour guide. Some of my displeasure was aimed at tourists, but admittedly, some was aimed at a fellow tour guide. I’ll tell my stories below, as if you give a damn.

I’ve mentioned before that large tour groups are taken on “splits,” where the tour groups are split into two during one part of the tour so as to better accommodate them in the Mansion House. Today was the first time that I was the lead tourist on a split, meaning I was with at least half of the group throughout the entire process. I had been told that a fellow tour guide—let’s call him Azrael (not his real name) —was going to meet me at the well by the Homestead in order to take half of the group to the Mansion House while I took the other half to the Smith Family Cemetery. When I arrived with my large group at the well, however, Azrael was nowhere to be found. I then assumed (or maybe just hoped) Azrael would be waiting for his half of the tour group at the Mansion House. I hoped he would see us coming, walk out to take his half of the group, and I could continue on with my half. But he never came out. So, I quickly feel forced to tell half of the group to just stay put while I take the other half of the group and go open the Mansion House, still hoping that Azrael is going to be inside. When I arrive at the Mansion House and open the door, Azrael is nowhere to be found. I’m now wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do. Thankfully, when I peer back outside, Azrael is running up to the Mansion House. I don’t know how much of the misunderstanding was his own fault, but he said he thought he was supposed to go back to the visitor’s center rather than wait at the Mansion House. Whatever the cause of that, the near-crisis was averted. But the frustration isn’t over quite yet. When you do a split and you are trading off between half-groups, each tour guide is responsible for guiding their initial half-group partway to the other tour guide. Azrael didn’t do this. So, after both half-groups had seen both the cemetery and the Mansion House, I had to once again abandon half of the total tour group in order to take care of the half that Azrael wasn’t taking care of himself. Instead of guiding the tourists over to me to head to Red Brick Store, Azrael simply let them out of the Mansion House, in front of which they stood, huddled together, blabbing at each other. I had to go round them up. Now, it’s possible these people knew they should be heading over to me and simply weren’t doing so. That wouldn’t be Azrael’s fault. But Azrael wasn’t there trying to steer them along as he should’ve been. It ended up being a hectic, annoying experience for me.

And now for a tale of annoying tourists. Now, I know that in previous blog posts I’ve mentioned silly things that I find kind of annoying about tourists, but today was the first time I genuinely thought they were kind of being jerks. To understand the story, you need to know that our tours begin with a 12-minute video. It is our policy that so long as a tour isn’t sold out and the video has only been going for a few minutes, we will offer someone who walks into the visitor’s center asking for a tour to join in with the group already watching the video in the auditorium. So, this afternoon, a large group of people come into the visitor’s center about four minutes after I’ve started a video for my next tour group. One of the women asks about taking a tour, and I explain that a tour group has just started watching a video in our theater and they can join in with that group if they’re so inclined. I was, of course, then going to explain that there is a $3 fee for the tour, but I didn’t even have time before these people said, “Great,” and started shuffling into the theater. I had to call to the woman and explain, “There’s actually a $3 per person preservation fee for the tour.” She looked rather put out by that. (I’ve heard that some people are off-put by being charged for the tour, but this was my first experience with such a thing.) Trying to help, I explained that they could watch the video for free, but the guided tour itself would cost extra. She wouldn’t commit to anything. She just kind of mumbled, walked away, and entered the theater. A few minutes later, a group of six comes into the visitor’s center asking to go on tour. We explain that the video is just wrapping up, but if they’d like to forgo the video and jump onto the tour that is about to embark from the building, they can. They agree. I’m about to go into the theater at this point because the video is ending. I try to stay behind to guide in these six tourists. But then they start talking with some other group of tourists. Meanwhile, this tour is one I’ve been instructed to be particularly quick with because I’m slated to give a tour starting in exactly one hour. That’s tight. So I dilly-dally for only a moment before I feel like I have to give up on these six newcomers and head into the theater. The video is over, but everybody is still just sitting there—those who actually paid for the tour and that huge group of grouchy people who didn’t. I explain to the crowd that I will be taking those who purchased tour passes out the back door while those who did not purchase a tour pass should exit into the lobby. Once again, the grouchy people act annoyed. “Well, can we get in on this tour?” one of them asks. “You’ll need to check at the desk to see if they still have room on this tour. I’m not sure how many spots are available at this point and we can only have so many people in the homes at once.” Again, they act put out by this. Irksome. So, the grouchy people leave the theater. Meanwhile, the six latecomers still have not come into the theater. I don’t know what to do about it, so I take the responsible fee-paying tourists out the back door. We haven’t gone very far before my boss is opening the door of the visitor’s center and calling to me to wait up so that the six latecomers and the group of grouchies can join me. Aye carumba, people. If you want to go on the damn tour, buy a pass and then follow the tour guide! It’s not rocket science!

And now for something more lighthearted. This is something that also annoyed me, but not in a serious way. It’s a story more of the amusing/annoying variety. One of the groups I took around today was an LDS youth group. There were adult chaperones, of course, one of whom asked me at the end of the tour when I was taking questions, “The Latter Day Saints who stayed behind in Nauvoo and didn’t follow the counsel to go west, were they seen as less faithful because they weren’t willing to follow the prophet all the way to Utah?” This has got to be the most LDS-centric question I’ve yet to receive. I wish I had said more than I did, but I told the guy something like this: “After Joseph died, it wasn’t entirely clear who should lead the Church next. People debated that. Most of the people followed Brigham Young, but his claim was that the Quorum of the Twelve, as a group, would lead the Saints. He wasn’t thinking about anybody becoming president of the Church just yet. Not everyone agreed with him, so different groups went in different directions. The people who stayed in Nauvoo would not see themselves as not following the prophet. I think many people today view the groups who didn’t go with Brigham as ‘breaking off’ from the Church, probably because Brigham’s group went on to become the largest. But that’s not really an accurate way to look at it. After Joseph died, different people just went in different directions.” Who knows what the guy thought of my response, but oh well.

I’m very tired today. My feet are very sore. I gave a total of five tours today, including three tours back-to-back (which was not supposed to happen—I had to take a tour assigned to Azrael because he wasn’t back in time to take them himself—yet another source of frustration in my day). Melanie says I look sunburned. I should be using sunscreen, I guess, but I don’t even have time to put sunscreen on throughout the day. I could put it on before work and maybe have it last through one tour. But by the time I’ve given three or four tours—or five—it’s not going to matter anymore.

And now for today’s fun fact from church history. Polygamist off-shoots of the LDS Church that exist today have more sound reasons for existing than many Mormons would suppose. Most LDS folks are unfamiliar with an unpublished, un-canonized revelation from the third president of the LDS Church, John Taylor. In the 1886 revelation, the Lord declares in no uncertain terms that polygamy absolutely cannot and will not be abandoned. It appears that the revelation is legitimate—meaning it really did come from President Taylor, who really did present it as a revelation—and as such is now a document of great importance to those fundamentalist groups who continue to practice polygamy. Moreover, these groups believe that in conjunction with the 1886 revelation and in order to keep the practice alive, Taylor gave Lorin C. Woolley the power and authority to perform polygamous marriages—even when and if such marriages should one day need to be performed outside the official capacity of the Church. Such claims may sound outlandish to modern LDS ears, but polygamy has a long history of being shrouded in secrecy and doublespeak from church leaders. The trend of publicly denying polygamist marriages while privately endorsing and performing them starts with Joseph Smith, but continues under the likes of Presidents Lorenzo Snow and Wilford Woodruff, who led the LDS Church when it was facing critical backlash from the U.S. Government over the issue of plural marriage. It was the duplicitous nature of early church leaders that made necessary Joseph F. Smith’s so-called “Second Manifesto” declaring an end to plural marriage in 1904; it seems Woodruff’s original 1890 Manifesto (now Official Declaration 1 in the Doctrine and Covenants) was considered by many, for good reason, to be nothing more than a political ruse.