Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Potpourri No. 20

Brain spillings o’ the day:

Simply Indigestible
I recently saw one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. I almost thought it deserved a post of its own, but I don’t want to devote that much of my time to it. The reason this movie deserves special mention isn’t just because it sucked, but because it’s one of those movies where you seriously can barely fathom that the thing was created. And it’s not even laughably funny for the most part, it’s just jaw-droppingly bad. The script, the acting, the story, even the editing—horrible! It’s the kind of movie you want people to see just because you know they won’t ever understand how bad it is without seeing it themselves, no matter what you say about it. So, on that note, I urge you all to rush out and rent Simply Irresistible, the 1999 romantic (?) comedy (?) starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as a cook who gets crabs from some stranger at the outdoor market. (And that’s why you should listen to your health teachers, kids!) For some unexplained reason, she doesn’t kill one of the crabs. Instead, she puts it up on a shelf. Then, she magically becomes a wonderful chef. Supposedly it has to do with the crab, because whenever she cooks something, it cuts for a second or two to a close-up of this crab just sitting there on the shelf. Some guy falls in love with her food, then with her, but problems arise when he begins to think she’s a witch and not just a really bad actress in unflattering outfits. It rips off Like Water for Chocolate at times and the crab thing is never explained whatsoever. It’s just bizarre, lame, unbelievable crap. Rent it today!

Ma Ma Se, Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa
Of the five schools to which I applied for their respective Ph.D. programs, I have now heard back from one—Indiana University-Bloomington. They rejected me. Not a big deal, quite honestly, because they were probably the last on my list as far as which school I was the most interested in. Still, they were number three for how decent I thought my chances of getting in would be, so it might be a bad sign that they’ve turned me down. What’s worse, having heard back from one school makes it incredibly difficult to put the Ph.D. applications out of my mind, which is something I’ve strived very diligently to do. Now I find myself constantly waiting to hear from someone else, which is not exactly a relaxed way to feel. I keep thinking it’s good that I haven’t received rejections from more schools by now, because that means I wasn’t someone they don’t even want to give a second thought. Then again, if I were among their top choices, chances are I would have heard from them by now. To quote Michael Jackson: “I’m stuck in the middle, and the pain is thunder.”

Proof that the Legal System Works
Finally, finally, finally our insurance company is beginning to pay for the injuries I sustained in the September 7th car accident. Just a little over five months, half a dozen phone calls, and three broken promises that I would be called back within a day or two to have it explained to me what exactly is going on with my claims later. Oddly enough, the claims are finally being retroactively processed just a week or so after I filled out an online customer satisfaction survey about my insurance company. The plethora of phone calls I made to their customer service hotline didn’t seem to do any good, but the survey included an area for comments wherein I expressed my interest in acquiring a lawyer who could help me get my claims paid. Now they are getting paid. Coincidence?


  1. I thought those customer service surveys were supposed to be anonymous. But, hey, if it worked...
    As I read your movie review, the whole time, even before you said it, I was thinking "I have to see that movie." Weird how we have a desire for the unappetizing. What is that anyway? I'm just incredibly curious. It sounds like maybe they updated the movie with Ratatouille? That chef has a pet rat that he keeps on his hat... maybe it worked better than a crab on the shelf (and I did think you meant the health class kind at first!).
    Too bad about the grad school anxiety. I hope it will all work out as it should.
    Anyhow, I love to read your posts!

  2. Jak, I assumed it was anonymous too, but after our sudden good fortune, I went back and looked at the email containing the link to the survey as well as the web page with the survey itself. Nothing about the survey being anonymous appears anywhere. So maybe they did know it was me! I'm just glad it worked!

  3. I've seen a few movies and read a couple of books that were just totally without merit. If anything could be completely about nothing.....I think the Damsel has a very utopian view of most things, but not everyone has talent. And that's what gets displayed.

  4. FYI, I just added that movie to our Blockbuster list. It will be a while before we get to it, but I'll let you know. I wasn't quite sure how to explain to Jeff that I added it because it's bad?

  5. First of all that crabs thing totally threw me off.
    Second, my blog was not in response to this, but that worked out well didn't it? I believe what I said though-at least maybe you will learn what's wrong with it. Then by all means, spew it forth as if it were...well...spew.