Tuesday, July 31, 2007

An Apt Name If Ever There Was One

Just over a year ago, I was working a summer job, preparing for the birth of my son and the move from Salt Lake City to Atlanta. One of my co-workers was a frumpier, upper-middle-aged woman whose constant cheeriness and tall-tales gave me plenty of dinnertime conversation fodder when I'd come home to Melanie. Well, this woman also happened to be one of those types that always has some physical ailment or another and wants to make sure you are well aware of it whenever you look at her. If she was going through one of her rough times, you couldn't look at her without finding her face exaggeratedly contorted into something you might, for the sake of pure convenience, call a "grimace." In other words, this was the kind of woman that was extremely friendly, but probably because she needed more friends than she actually had. She needed attention.

This post has nothing to do with that woman. Not exactly anyway, but I wanted to give you some relevant background information so that you could understand just why I feel as shocked as I do about the subject that is the topic of this post. Returning to the story, I one day noticed that this woman was wearing these really weird looking shoes (if you could even call them shoes). They were extremely goofy looking, but I assumed they were some medically prescribed footwear that served some greater purpose about which I could not even begin to guess. So I dismissed them as another token of this woman's eccentricity and, of course, perpetual ill health.

Only recently have I learned from my beloved wife that these shoes are actually a current fad. That's right, what I thought must surely be a bizarre experiment in podiatry is in actuality the latest footwear fashion trend. It turns out my former co-worker was donning the gay apparel that is Crocs.

I don't claim to be a fashion guru, but I have to ask—really? As I've looked into it more, there are a few variations of Crocs that look fairly normal. But the standard issue chunk of plastic that's been taken to a hole-punch one too many timeswell, I just don't get it. Maybe it makes sense for kids. Maybe. But only because kids can plug those holes with little trinkets and basically turn their shoes into a combination toy/fashion statement. But adults? Adults?!?

In case you don't know what Crocs are, you can check out the following video, courtesy of YouTube. I love that they make sure to point out that one of the people claiming to love Crocs is a dentist. If a dentist loves this brand of shoes, then what in the world are we all waiting for??? What a crock!


  1. You are hillarious. I don't get crocs either, but I do hear they are amazingly comfortable. I thought they were gardening shoes when I first heard of them- you can get them wet and dirty and wash them with the hose. As for the lady you are talking about... I now work in the same place you were working and come into contact with some of those people with which you worked. I was wondering who you might be talking about, if I knew her, and then you said that about the shoes. If I am correct in my gossipy suspense, I just today noticed her shoes because as she was walking toward me saying hello, I couldn't help being distracted by a big blob of color at her feet. You really should email me her name so I can know if it's her without blasting it all over your well read blog.

  2. I agree with you, I find it utterly hilarious when I see adults treading around in them. People always say that they are the most comfortable shoes that they have ever had, but to that I say they are just trying to make up an excuse for living a second childhood! Just be honest!

  3. I think they must be the spawn of the old rubber rain boots. I wanted some to wear in the yard/garden, but was amazed at the price for such...$24 give-or-take a few cents. I thought much too much for what you get. But after watching your video, I just might run out and buy some, if I can decide on the color I want to announce my presence wherever I go.

  4. I also am of the don't get crocs camp. I think one celebrity likely shucked them on a child of theirs and started this lame revolution. Frankly, they're so 80s -- not an attractive fashion era then and not now. Blah. Great post.

  5. I can't see them as comfy. They look clunky and heavy.

  6. first of all i want to point out, being someone who everyone will point out 'i dress myself', that the 80s was the best fashion era. not necc the hair (which personally i liked for the most part, at least better than alot of these dumbass shave your head things, i mean, give me a mohawk and a chick with big hair and stilettos any day) but really, levis, t shirts, basketball shoes and jackets. damn, why did we skip going back to that and hit the bell bottoms of the 70's and the rubber shoes from some childhood nightmare? which i guess brings me to my point, but first i wasn't saying anything about jennifer i was just going down memory lane thinking i so miss that look, okay, crocs, wondered what the **** those things were people were wearing. i hate to say it but i thought maybe it was a poor or like the lady at your work thing, a fad? bloody hell!