Growing up, my family never told tales of the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. I knew these to be fictional entities, created and perpetuated for the sake of entertainment. When I lost a tooth, I did not put it under my pillow, hoping the Tooth Fairy would exchange it for some bona fide U.S. currency. Rather, I would likely leave it in a cup and wait for my parents to trade it in for some quarters, sometime when I wasn’t looking. They knew that I knew that it was them, but it was part of the fun not to be present when the exchange occurred. Similarly, on Easter morning, we had to wait for our parents to hide the Easter eggs and other trinkets before we could begin our search. The origin of these eggs and treats were never in question.
As an adult, this tradition (or lack thereof) has carried over into my own attitudes toward Easter and the losing of teeth. I have no interest whatsoever in promoting the existence of the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy with my own children (when I finally have them). Some might think this is a harsh denial of an innocent child’s fantasy, but I simply view these things as pointless. I really don’t feel like I missed out on anything by not believing in them. And to be honest, as bias an opinion as this may be, I just don’t see the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy being all that meaningful to a kid. I much prefer the human quality of Santa Claus. At least he blatantly symbolizes something to a child, namely what it means to be a loving and a charitable person. The Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny seem like cartoon frivolities in comparison.
Somehow, despite my awareness that the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny were not real, I never managed to question the existence of Santa Claus. And, wouldn’t you know it, I most certainly intend to carry on the tradition of Santa Claus with my kids. Does that make me a hypocrite? Do my readers feel I am somehow missing the boat when it comes to the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy? Am I doing my kids a horrible injustice to forgo what seems to me a ridiculous pastime? It’s not that I’m anti-Tooth Fairy or anti-Easter Bunny when it comes to decorations, stories, and other such paraphernalia. But to actually promote them as real? I just don’t see a point…
(Happy Easter everyone! Let us not forget the real reason for this day!)
Hmmm, a little creepy! I dare say you are probably my first stalker. I'm flattered! Actually, I think I have only once posted a blog from the school, so you're not too likely to find me at a computer there. As for my picture, I feel bad for all those whom you say resemble it. I chose that picture precisely because it is so goofy. It is of me mimicking a horribly cheesy Abba video in which the female singers were meant to be winking seductively. For the record, I don't make a habit out of winking at everyone as I walk about campus. Especially not like that! Enjoy the hunt!
ReplyDeleteThe idea of the Easter bunny creeped me out when I was little. I don't know that I believed it too seriously. However, I agree with Vidar. Why not have fun with your kids when they are young? There is so much time for real life. Let kids enjoy the disillusionment. So, along these lines, I disagree with Steve's advice. Sometimes you ask your parents a question because you want a real answer, and sometimes you ask because you want disillusionment. Be sensitive to the difference. I asked my parents, and they lied. I don't have trust issues with them now because of it. If they would have told me the truth, I would have been heartbroken. Also, think of who else you are affecting by telling your child the truth. They will tell their friends, siblings, and schoolmates. I have had plenty of crying students because someone told them Santa was not real. Let them believe.
ReplyDeleteAmie-J, as someone who can testify to the effectiveness of Dad's advice, I have to concur with Melanie -- don't do it! It is a fairly vivid memory of me standing before him and asking, point blank, "Is Santa Claus real?" and receiving the blunt, emotionless reply, "No." The idea of a child who grows up hating his parents or being emotionally disturbed because of tales of Santa is ridiculous. Children will learn soon enough, I am sure.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I know I am not the only one who felt emotionally slammed by Dad's bluntness. Khrystine was informed matter-of-fact like when Grandma died. Again, Dad thought this was somehow the best tactic, but I know it felt brutally harsh to her. I don't blame her...
Wow, well, here I am again, tagging on at the end of a plethera of comments.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything!
I was going to mention my opinion on Dad's blutness before reading Benny's request. It's not a good thing. I was in second grade when my friend told me Santa isn't real but you shouldn't tell kids because it will ruin their Christmas.
Why did I believe her enough to ask my parents? Why did I ask them, I didn't really want to know? Probably because I wanted some parental encouragement in my beliefs. Instead, Dad took my downstairs into a bedroom and sat me down to have the talk. I believe this was the same year I asked for a Polaroid camera and he told me at the same time that I wouldn't get one but that Mom had found something "neater" for me. It was a dollhouse so that was okay. Not much trauma from the camera.
I did cry later getting ready for Christmas because I wanted to believe. And Mom was sad that he told me. I was good at keeping it a secret from my little bro. And I still tell Khrys there is a Santa.
My question is, how do kids keep believing in God? Isn't Santa quite a Godlike figure? And if he's ficiton, what about God? Somehow, I kept believing, but I've always wondered about that.
As for the sex talk, what are you all talking about? I'm still waiting for that one!
Wow, I never knew this posting would garner so many thoughts! Thank you to everyone for getting so involved.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I have no idea what to expect when it comes to sex talks. I never really had one with my parents, so I don't know how traumatizing an experience it is. But it doesn't sound very fun. I think the key is establishing open communication long before sex is even an issue (which, nowadays, is probably frighteningly young). Households that avoid certain topics like the plague will have it much harder, methinks. I don't think you have to be morally lax in order to discuss sex, but some people seem to think so.
By the way, Dad actually told me that he was forthright about Santa Claus so I wouldn't question the existence of God. I know it was a sincere gesture, but I still find it kind of ridiculous. Despite their joint relationship to Christmas, God and Santa Claus are not so intertwined that a 7-year-old who learns the falsity of one is going to be thrown into an existential theological crisis. I just don't see this happening. Once they're old enough to make such a mature connection, they'll be old enough to realize that telling kids Santa exists is not a big deal. I think we'd all be hard pressed to find someone whose current religious beliefs are rooted in the life-shattering childhood event of learning the truth about Santa Claus.
P.S., I will admit that some advantages exist in NOT believing in Santa Claus. When I was little, I really wanted Snake Mountain, the "fortress" of He-Man's archnemesis, Skeletor. Because Santa Claus was supposed to know my every move (after all, he knows when I am sleeping, he knows when I'm awake, and he knows when I've been bad and good for crap's sake!), I trusted that I could "talk" to him at anytime. Sometimes I'd be alone in the backyard and talk out loud to inform Santa that I really, really, REALLY wanted Snake Mountain. Well, guess what? I never got it! Heartbreak. Poor little me!
ReplyDelete