Friday, November 05, 2010

Fatherhood, Take 3

When a new child arrives, there is so much to say about it and yet so little time to say it. Life has been pretty crazy since Creegan was born. With Melanie and Creegan staying the mandatory 48 hours in the hospital after Creegan’s departure from the womb, I became a single parent of two. I am not accustomed to being the primary caretaker, and sadly this makes me pretty bad at it sometimes. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, we’re all exhausted, but when you’re the parent, you’re supposed to handle whatever happens with restraint. I’ve failed numerous times in the past week, being quite short-tempered with my two eldest. Poor guys. They seem to be doing really well, but I know they’re affected by all of this, too. When they’re not completely obedient or otherwise test me, I know there are better ways to respond than lashing out at them, but that’s what I’m doing all too often. For crap’s sake.

Creegan came home on Saturday. On Tuesday, he was back in the hospital because his jaundice was quite extreme. It seems like every baby I’ve ever heard of has had jaundice, so I wasn’t scared by it, but it was still sad to have him going back to the hospital. Melanie stayed with him, which meant she too was gone. Once again, I was a single parent. We hoped the jaundice would improve overnight, but it didn’t improve enough. Creegan (and Melanie) were stuck until at least Thursday morning. That meant I was stuck as a single parent until at least Wednesday evening, when Melanie’s parents would arrive in town. Making it to Wednesday evening wouldn’t have been so bad, except for the fact that I had a paper due on Wednesday afternoon. It was a paper for which I had already received an extension because Creegan was born. Even though another extension might have been warranted once Creegan was going back to the hospital, I really didn’t want to have to ask for even more time. Miraculously, I got the essay completed, with a little bit of help from the television, which acted as a babysitter for much of the day. I felt bad about that, but I didn’t want to take the time to drive Eddie and Peter to a human babysitter. I didn’t feel like I had time even for that. (Everyone we know whom we would feel comfortable asking to babysit lives about 20-30 minutes away, so taking the kids to a human babysitter would have eaten up a decent chunk of time.)

Melanie’s parents coming into town has been a sigh of relief. They’re very helpful, and it makes me feel much less guilty about doing schoolwork and other necessary things when they entertain Eddie and Peter. Melanie and Creegan finally came home yesterday afternoon. Creegan had yet another follow-up visit with his doctor this morning, and things are looking great. He’s home for good, which is awesome. Mind you, the awesomeness brings challenges. The only perk to having Melanie and Creegan at the hospital is that I got a full night’s sleep. Those are no more, I suppose. (During the first two years of a child’s life, the parents lose an average of half a year of sleep!) Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they’re here. It’s just that I’m already feeling quite exhausted—even more so than before.

I’ll end this post on a happy note, with a few pictures. I’m only posting a few because many of the pictures we’ve taken haven’t yet been uploaded to our computer. Also, I don’t want to spend copious amounts of time looking over the pictures and trying to choose the best ones. Hopefully these will satisfy those family members and friends who have been eagerly watching and waiting for additional photos to appear.


  1. I love the honestness of this post. I don't like things sugar coated. Although I am now scared out of my mind that another one is coming. How do we forget how hard it is and sign up for it yet again? :)

    This time around though I am going to do things a little bit different. Maybe. I am going to ask for help. Since I live close to family there are lots of people I can ask to help me, but with the past two kids I've just been too proud to even go there. Stupid, huh?

    Hopefully with your third, life will quickly adjust to a new normal. Best of luck!

  2. I LOVE the pics! He's beautiful! And the ones with Eddie and Peter... I'm in tears. I miss you guys so much. I wish I could be there and help.
    I like your honesty too. It's so scary. I thought about it being hard before we had Rayne, but you just don't get it. I'm sorry you lose patience. It happens to the best of us :)

  3. I am satisfied. I am happy to know what he looks like. He has more hair and a bit fuller face than the others.
    I am sorry about all the trouble. I hate losing patience with children; I immediately feel guilty afterward. I imagine writing your paper was difficult, thank heaven for TV sometimes.
    I love you and I am very glad things are okay now. I hope your family manages to get a little bit of rest. I have been intermittently up at night with a sick dog and I try to think of it as practice for babies. I'm sure it's not as bad, and I can't imagine doing it all. Parents are brave!