Off the Record

I know I shouldn’t let it get the best of me, but Best Of/Greatest Hits compilations certainly have a tendency to frustrate. Don’t get me wrong—I’m ecstatic that such compilations exist, and I own a hefty handful of them myself. Some bands just aren’t worth listening to outside of the deliciously familiar tunes that, at one time or another, have graced the airwaves (Talking Heads, for example—or so methinks). The problem, however, is that compilations—rather intentionally, it seems—will often leave choice selections quite literally off the record. Or they include alternate (usually live) versions of their biggest hits. And to make matters worse, they usually throw in some crap song that nobody remembers. And nowadays they typically throw in one or two new songs, just so the most avid fans are forced to buy yet another album (even though they already own the artist’s entire catalogue).

Cases in point:

Barenaked Ladies, Disc One: All Their Greatest Hits 1991-2001. Missing songs: the studio versions of “Brian Wilson” and “What a Good Boy.” They include live versions, but if you’re buying a greatest hits CD, you don’t want some crap version you’ve never heard before. Live cuts should only be included if that is actually the more famous version of the song!

Billy Joel, Greatest Hits Vol. 1-2. Missing song: “Leave a Tender Moment Alone.” (A problem not rectified by Volume 3. Instead, one is forced to buy the later-released The Essential Billy Joel, but this in turn has some missing songs, such as “Big Shot.”)

Bruce Springsteen, Greatest Hits. Missing songs: “I’m on Fire” and “Pink Cadillac.”

The Doors, The Best Of. Missing song: “Twentieth Century Fox.” (Later rectified by the 2003 release, Legacy: The Absolute Best.)

Huey Lewis & the News, Time Flies: The Best Of. Missing songs: “Back in Time,” “Trouble in Paradise” (non-live version), “Walking on a Thin Line,” “Jacob’s Ladder,” “Hip to Be Square,” “Perfect World,” “It Hit Me Like a Hammer,” “But It’s Alright,” and “Some Kind of Wonderful.” But of course they do manage to put FOUR new songs on the album in lieu of fitting in even one of these classics.

Madonna, The Immaculate Collection. Missing songs: “True Blue” and “Who’s That Girl?” (Granted, in order to cover everything, Madonna requires multiple compilations. But, as of yet, these have not appeared on any subsequent collection.)

Phil Collins, Hits. Missing songs: “Don’t Lose My Number,” “I Don’t Care Anymore,” and “Do You Remember?”

The Police, Every Breath You Take: The Classics. Missing songs: “Canary in a Coalmine,” and “Synchronicity II.”

Red Hot Chili Peppers, Greatest Hits. Missing song: “Aeroplane.”

R.E.M., In Time: The Best of R.E.M. 1988-2003. Missing songs: “Bang and Blame,” “Bittersweet Me,” “Drive,” and (gasp!), “Shiny Happy People.”

And those are just some examples I am aware of.

So what can we do about it? Probably nothing. And what is my point? Nothing, I guess. Just to complain.

Thanks for listening.